I am an empty nester, an accidentalpreneur and a self-proclaimed pattern-breaker turning my own generational childhood trauma patterns into God-inspired healing experiences so as to flip the trajectory of my heritage. If our own children cannot look at our lives as an example of how they can tap into their own inner strengths and knowings, to whom will they turn?
I was raised by emotionally immature (EI) parents. They did the best they could but I still had to figure out motherhood for my own 5 children without an example to draw from or a family I could lean on. [*hands on hips: “I’m NOT going to be like my mother!”] You can guess how THAT was going!
At 39 years old, my youngest was 3 and the oldest was 13, I decided, after taking a real honest look at myself in the mirror, that my inside (happy and snappy) and my outside (uninspired and tired) didn’t match. As a stay-at-home mom, I started exercising outdoors in our little Northern Utah town and it was just me and the cows at 5am, 3 days a week, trying to make my emotional and mental health (letting go of things I couldn’t control) and my physical health (doing what was within my control) match.
I not only transformed my body (which started out being the point but didn’t end up being the actual reward) but it awakened an awareness of self and I went from being a shy and backwards homebody to an introverted/extroverted homebody with a voice. I had no idea the wheels of change were just beginning to turn, taking me on a journey I could not have predicted.
Shortly after my physical transformation, we experienced financial despair. I was digging for food for my family out of dumpsters until I finally put my big-girl pants on, faked a resume, and ended up working at a gym (which is a whole other story in and of itself). It ended up being one of the best things that ever happened for me even though I went into it kicking and screaming. I eventually became a hormonal fat loss educator helping women reduce their physical stress and their mental overwhelm. Who knew?
During a particularly emotionally taxing space of 15 months, my family and I went through a devastating divorce, while I was recovering from full-blown adrenal fatigue and severe food allergies as a result of a dysregulated nervous system.
During that same time, my mother passed away, and shortly thereafter, I found myself facing a faith crisis. I remember wishing God would just cut me some slack. But if he had, I would not have found myself on my back, looking up having the kind of heart-to-heart with God I didn’t know I needed. It was the fulcrum to redirect the rest of my life. Sometimes that’s what it takes before we’ll turn our hearts and minds to the only one who can help us in that way.
At that point, I went back to square one in a whole new attitude to unravel codependency, reparent myself, practice altruism, strengthen my spiritual and core beliefs, and take responsibility for my relationship with God.
I also realized that sitting quietly long enough to receive personal revelation wouldn’t actually kill me! [Hi! {wave}. I have ADHD!] And, neither did letting go of what others thought of me. *gasp!* Step #1 of “doing the work” happens to be releasing yourself from the prison of public opinion.
The one gift I have relied on my whole life has been a strong intuitive “knowing” that God has been with me since the beginning. Even when my brain was hacking away at my problems and I was acting like I was all alone in the world, my heart still knew He was with me. I’ve come to learn that if ever I feel less of God’s presence with me, it has been me who has slid further from Him, never the other way around.
My own mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical healing process is what has nudged (or shoved) me in the direction of becoming a certified life coach using my intuitive gifts and numerous emotional tools to help my clients repattern negative emotional blueprints, heal old wounds and thought habits, and see yourself from God’s perspective, acknowledging and accepting all of the light and intelligence within.
I always say, never follow anyone who hasn’t done what you are trying to do. If you see yourself somewhere in my story, I hope you feel seen. I hope you realize that your hopes/dreams, wants/needs, and desires/wishes matter. Just keep in mind that if it took 30-40 years to get to where you are now, expect nothing less than ‘plenty-’of-time’ to unravel the sticking points. I am living proof it can be done and produce incredible momentum into your future to be, do and have anything you desire.
I am grateful for the opportunity to help women like you (with an open heart and a willing mind) discover the true reward of aligning who you are with your specific and fantastic purpose in life so you can fulfill the measure of your creation!