I'm looking forward to this because we have got to find out why you are so exhausted. 

My favorite thing to do is help you stop tripping over the same things over and over. 

I channeled my friend Kira Brinton, and we both got a vision because we were asking for one; that's how that works.

Her vision opened up at the same time mine did. 

When I say vision, an image comes to mind, right? I had a light bulb; like in my vision, it was a clear, bright, yellow light bulb. 

In her vision, she pictured it was a little more elaborate; she pictured people picking up heavy things, and they were so distracted by the weight of their heavy things that they just didn't; they weren't getting anything else done. 

They were just exhausted. 

I said, "Well, that's funny because my vision was of a light bulb."

If someone is so distracted, picking up heavy things that are just all around them, because they're just there and they're so busy being exhausted, picking up heavy things, the only way to get them to drop the heavy stuff in dark places is to turn on a light bulb and get them to drop the heavy thing and turn around and see where the light is coming from. 

My job is to help turn on the light for you. That is what I do. 

I turn on the light and help you shift your behavioral patterns from, oh, there's the light, okay, well, now I'm going back to getting my big heavy rocks and dragging them around. 

If I can get you to change that behavioral habit of going from the lights on and I have a new way to go, the path has been lit; if I can just change that to the norm instead of wanting to go back to something I've always known which was moving around heavy rocks.

That is where life begins.

But you're just exhausted because you keep moving to heavy rocks, and then you notice a light on somewhere, you get a new idea, somebody says something, and it turns your brain into a new opportunity.

But we return to moving the rocks around because we've done it our whole lives.

We saw our parents do it. It's what's familiar. We have a craving.

Everybody's had a craving, right? You know what a craving is. 

If you've had a craving, it's your body saying, I need something familiar. 

I need to experience the feeling I have when I eat chocolate, the feeling I had when I won a race in first grade. 

You have a craving for a certain feeling, and we'll find all kinds of ways to give you that feeling. 

We might be watching romance movies, drinking alcohol, or playing around on a dating app, trying to find the love of our lives. 

Whatever it is that craving, it could be cookie-cake ice cream, like we've talked about before at 10 p.m., because we're just looking for a feeling that makes us feel hopeful and energized. 

But those behaviors, those cravings, come up because we are so tired from moving heavy stuff around all day. 

We've been trying to manage other people's emotions, control the outcomes, and make it through another day because we've been so tired. 

If we do those things, we will find a way to satisfy our craving for a better feeling. 

How do we overcome exhaustion? 

That is just a habit. It's a habit of moving heavy rocks around and doing the same thing we've always done, even though we're like, hey, there's a light on over there. Hey, there's a new way. Hey, the path is lit. Hey, there's an opportunity.

We're like, that's going on over there. We're like, but I've never been there before. It's unfamiliar; I'm still determining if it will work. 

I've tried a lot of things, and some of them may not work, too, and I've lost some confidence in myself.

I had bit of doubt or a whole bunch of doubt about whether I could make it, succeed, anand d do what I said I wanted to do. 

Am I going to come away feeling embarrassed that I didn't do it like I said I was going to do it, or will I be unable to stick with it because I don't stick with anything?

If I start, I still need to finish. What is going on when you see that path?

Whatever thought you're having about whether or not you can move forward and open up space to become a different person. 

Whatever thought you're having, if it's cheerful, full of truth, whole of hope and optimism, you will probably go in that direction.

You probably have a couple of days when you slide backward to something comfortable and realize how uninteresting that comfortable space was and has become. 

Then you move into a new space, and you do so willingly and easily, and it's not exhausting anymore. 

It's fun, exciting, interesting, and has piqued your curiosity, but most of us won't take that chance on ourselves. 

It's only because we haven't let go of the idea that my parents worked hard their whole lives. 

I'm going to have to work hard my whole life to prove my value, worth, work ethic, and family values.

I will have to do what they did the way they did it energetically. 

You may not be in the same profession, you may not be doing something that, you know, maybe they were farmers, and perhaps you're running a store, whatever it is, you still have that same energetic idea going on in your life. 

You may have married somebody.

You may have brought relationships into your life that mirror the kind of hard work you put in to try to earn love, to earn worth, to earn something, your value, something for someone else to grab hold of and say, "I value that. I cherish that in you." 

We spend our whole lives working, working, working, and then we're exhausted emotionally. 

Our brain doesn't care anymore. It was late at night, we served everybody all day, and nothing was left for us.

We sit, watch more TV, and have cookie cake and ice cream in the freezer.

We had that at 10 p.m. because we were super tired at seven, but we didn't go to sleep then, and we just kept going. Now, caloric deficits are setting in because our body's like, well, we need some kind of fuel to keep going. 

We need a higher sugar content in our blood to stay up and keep going, keep going, and past exhaustion. 

Then, when we can't take it anymore, we finally go to bed.

Then we get up the following day, hoping we get more done on less sleep. And we're just dragging because we need to manage our energy. 

Well, we need to listen to what our needs are. 

We don't want to let go of those heavy things that have become habits. It's familiar. We get up; it's pretty safe. 

We're not going to embarrass ourselves. We're just going to work hard. 

How does that sound? It's a struggle.

It's a real thing, and you have to be so intentional and focused that you are no longer available to do the heavy things, move heavy rocks around all day long, and do that heavy thing when you could have light and energy over here. 

You have to want that. 

Unfortunately, many of us wait until we're flat on our backs, at which point we literally lose our health. 

We can't get out of bed. We were depressed. We can't figure out why we're overwhelmed. We can't figure out why we lack drive or desire. 

We just can't make ourselves do the things that we need to do anymore. 

We usually wait for that to set in until we can no longer tolerate our current state. 

Then we'll try and do something new. I'm here to tell you that you don't have to wait until it gets that bad. You don't. 

You don't have to wait until it gets that bad.

I have waited until it got that bad.

That's what I'm telling you. 

You don't have to wait till it gets that bad. You don't have to be flat on your back. 

But if you are, let's not worry about it. 

If you're flat on your back, it is precisely where you need to be. 

You finally put down the heavy rocks and go, Hey, wait, there must be a better way to operate in this world, in this life, than working freaking hard. What if you could get in the rowboat of the energy of life?

Go with the flow downstream. The current already knows where it's going. 

Everything you want, hope for, and dream for in your life is downstream, including rest and freedom from exhaustion. 

But no, no, we were taught to get in our little rowboat, turn it around, face it upstream, and paddle like the Diggins to get upstream in a downstream current.

Did you know that all rivers run downstream? Oh yes, they do. 

River's going to go in a different direction. It's always going to oppose you, or you're opposing it.

You're trying to work harder because it was the work ethic your parents were proud of. 

They're like, hey, you worked hard today; good job. 

You are rewarded for working hard, being responsible, showing up, showing value, giving more than you're receiving, and all the other things you're like, finally, yeah, you're doing it. Okay? 

We finally got some praise and approval from our parents, our parents, whoever was around us. 

Our little eyes, as children, were looking out around us, going, who's going to think I'm fantastic today? 

They only thought we were excellent when we were doing what they needed us to do so they could feel better. Let that one hit. 

But what if we were doing everything we needed to experience life, figure out who we are, see what we like and don't like, and don't need outside validation?

 What if we start asking ourselves, what do you think of that? How do you feel about that? What do you want? How do you know you want it? 

Usually, we want things because we're experiencing the contrast of what we don't like. 

One of those hard ways of total exhaustion we are familiar with is to look at what we don't want and pray we don't get it. 

If that's where your attention is, it's guaranteed it's coming towards you because you're focused on it.

When I learned to ride a mountain bike, I always looked at the rocks in front of my tire. 

I was like, oh, this is scary. I might hit that big rock, and if I do, I might flip. If I hit that rock, I'm going to scrape my shin, and ; if that, I was looking at all the stones in front of me. 

That is the hard way to ride a mountain bike. That's doing hard things because the stress is always high.

 I found myself having panic attacks on the bike. 

I'm like, you're fine, you're fine; what's wrong with you? and it was only because I was focused on what I didn't want. 

I didn't want to get scraped up. I didn't want to break a bone; they say it's not if, but when you break your collarbone. 

I was like, I want none of that. I want no injuries. I want to ride my bike, have a good time, make memories, and tell stories, but I do not want an injury. 

But I was focused on what might cause my injury. 

That was just super high-stress.

I was exhausted after every ride, just absolutely wiped out. The adrenaline crash, like fight-or-flight, was high, and then I would go in submission. 

I was like, "I don't care. I don't need to eat. I don't need anything. I don't like it." I would go into a terrible spot if I couldn't get my needs met because I was doing these high-intensity adrenaline rushes that didn't end. 

I was still in fight-or-flight mode the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that, on these mountain bike trips.

It is exhausting to think that you're in fight-or-flight mode all the time—not to think, but to be in fight-or-flight mode all the time. 

I am curious if somebody told me this or if I figured it out, but if you keep your eyes down the trail and see what's coming, you're not focused on it like you enjoy the ride. It's fun. 

You manage the big rocks when they come up, and you're like doing the thing, but you're not freaking out about every little pebble that's going by.

When you look down the trail, the likelihood of staying on the trail is much higher, and your stress goes way down. 

When I talk about doing hard things that cause us to feel exhausted, we're often focused on things we don't want.

I want to arrive on time. I want to show up prepared. I don't want my boss to fire me or have reason to write me up. I don't want, I don't want, I don't want. 

If you ask somebody, you just ask them, "What do you want?" They're like, "I don't know, but I definitely don't want." 

They can tell you what they don't want. But it's tough to name what you do want because we're always focused on what we don't like. 

We don't want someone to talk bad about us, judge us, criticize us. We don't want outside opinions that might be negative. 

But if we're upset that we're not living the life that we feel is waiting for us because we are held up by what somebody might think of us if we try and fail.

We're literally in the rowboat trying to go upstream in a windstorm, and the current is taking us downstream anyway; we're like, "No, no, no, I don't want to go that way." 

We're not going upstream; there's nothing up there for us. We were already upstream, which is why we ended up downstream. 

Then we returned and tried to go back to what was familiar.

Upstream. There's nothing up there for us. Nothing. 

Everything that's waiting for us is downstream. It's easier. 

It goes with the flow and harmony of the current, which already knows the way. It's not a lot of work. Half the time, we don't even need the paddle. 

We can just sit in the boat and watch the scenery go by because it's better. It's easier. 

But then we're like, oh, easy. It shouldn't be easy. I've always had it challenging. 

What do you do with ease? That means it's boring. That means that you need to grow or learn something. It's like, no, no, no. 

Because of the current in the boat, it's not a lake. It's a current. It's taking you downstream. 

All streams flow in one direction, downstream. 

Downstream is where the scenery is constantly changing. 

You are moving, you're growing, you're learning. 

You're like, wow, I haven't seen those mountains before. Hey, look at those trees. Hey, you know, a little bunny on the side hill. 

You're having more experiences downstream than paddling upstream, going nowhere, and and seeing the same scenery all the time. 

The difference is you're exhausted. We're downstream; you're not. 

But as creatures of habit, we would have it, and we need to figure out what to do if we're not working hard and earning it. 

Earning love. Earning value. Earning our worth. Earning something. 

We don't even know what to do with ourselves. 

We have to get used to it and be willing to try setting down the hard stuff for a second. 

Stop with the complex relationships.

Learn to set some boundaries. 

I have some podcast episodes all about boundaries. Emotional shoplifting.

All the relationship issues that hold us back. Take a gander.

But in the meantime, give some serious thought to why you're tired, why you had to work hard at relationships, work hard at earning money, work hard at climbing the success ladder, work hard at being yourself and authentic, and work so hard at not being criticized or judged, or work hard at receiving validation, you know? 

Why? Why are you doing those things? Where did it come from? Where did you learn it?

Ask yourself the questions, and then also ask yourself if you are trying harder and moving big, heavy things around day after day, staying up late, and having some downtime so you can feel rested like you didn't work all day. 

Then you had cookie cake ice cream, which spiked your blood sugar. 

You felt guilty and finally went to bed, but you didn't get enough sleep, you didn't sleep well, and you woke up tired and trying to do your best every day like that. 

If that's you, ask yourself, "Is that really what I want? "Is that really what my life is going to amount to in the end? " 

You can change it with a single thought in a heartbeat, and as soon as you change your intent to live differently, you will because you're brilliant. 

You're a genius. 

But you've got to let your genius work for you. 

You have to help yourself shift and believe that you can.

We can live in a free country. If we decide, we can shift and be ourselves in a nanosecond. 

I tell the story of my weight loss experience for several reasons. 

First, it demonstrates that it doesn't have to be hard. 

Two, the power of intention. 

When I was in a dressing room, and I lifted my shirt this way and that way as I was trying on bigger pants, I realized that the inside young, happy me did not match, or I should say the outside wired and tired me didn't match the happy and young, youthful inside person that I felt I was.

In that moment, I knew it was time to practice personal integrity to make them match, right? 

If I were going to make them match, I would have; I couldn't, I didn't have time to work harder at it. 

I was homeschooling five kids. They needed me from 6 a.m. till bedtime at nine. 

When was I going to do this? 

Well, I had to make room for myself. Five to six a.m. was my hour, and I didn't look back. 

Six months was coming one way or another. 

See, I got in the rowboat, and I just went downstream.It didn't work harder at it. I stopped the focus on how long this going to take. Huh, that's upstream. That's hard.

I'm paddling against the current. 

The natural flow of my metabolism was downstream. 

It was five a.m. every morning, having a lot of fun, eating six meals a day that mattered to my body and my metabolism, and voila, six months later, I looked different.

I wasn't worried about what hadn't happened yet. 

That's an upstream effort. 

Worrying about I am going to be successful? It didn't matter if I was going to be successful or not.

 As long as I was in integrity, if you can't give a promise to yourself, who can you keep one to? I needed to be in integrity with myself first. 

First and foremost, I was going to do what I said I would do.

This is the first time in my life that I have ever kept a promise to myself. For the first time in my life, I think I actually made a clear intention to do so.

 It has to be a conscious effort to say, write down, or determine that this is what I'm doing and then just go to work. Just do it. 

But if you get, let your brain get all busy. How will I do it?

I wasn't in fitness at the time. I'm a stay-at-home mom. I had not found a career, and my career had not found me.

My career was in the at me.

I just decided that I am no longer available to get larger. I am only available to become my true self, to be me fully.

Then it just happened. It just happened. 

I went out and worked out in the morning. I just did whatever sounded good. 

Headphones running through the streets, passing all the cows at 5 a.m. That was enjoying the stars and enjoying nature.

I was like, this is amazing. I'm by myself and I have peace and quiet all to myself for a whole hour.

I loved it. I had fun with it. I lived in alignment with what I said I wanted to do. 

It's like to get unhealthy with myself one meal at a time, and I could get healthy again, one meal at a time. 

Six meals a day, I had six opportunities to make a count, and then I went to bed to get all the sleep I needed. I had to make that count. 

My body knew what to do with the information. I was feeding it and it was all downstream. It wasn't harder. 

Before that, I was dieting, counting calories, worrying about whether I worked out, and what to do. I don't know. Did I do it? Did I do enough? It was exhausting. 

It lasted three weeks, and then I was back to cookie cake ice cream. 

I just was like, I don't know because it was hard, it was exhausting. 

I was moving heavy things around. The light came on when I decided I would eat all day anyway. 

Why not eat food that matters? Why not eat food that my body knows what to do with?

 Something that's outside of a box or a package. It knows exactly what to do with the foods of the earth. That's what I did. It made the most sense to me.

So, downstream thought. Did I read a book? Nope. Somebody tell me? Nope.

Did I go looking for the answers outside of myself? No, I didn't. 

I didn't because I asked myself a question, and the answer was that it doesn't matter if you lose weight or not, except if it matters for your integrity. 

That's an example of the downstream ease of becoming who we were meant to be.

We can put down the heavy things, and we can stop being exhausted, worn out, frustrated, and mad that we're not getting anywhere. 

Who will we be mad at if we're in the boat with the paddle in our hands? Evidence. It's you, paddling upstream. You're still doing it, right? 

There's no one else to blame, and the hardest thing you'll ever do, but the best thing you'll ever do, is to take that little paddle in your hands and stick it in the boat, and you know what's going to happen to the ship?

The stream will turn your boat around and point it downstream, and you'll be like, Oh my gosh, I'm not doing enough. I'm not working hard enough.

I'm not like, shouldn't I be doing something? No. 

Just practice sitting in the boat going downstream.

It's easy. It's better. Give it a try.

If there's anything I can do to help you set down the heavy things, get up, and just go with the flow of life, please let me know.

Note: You can access the full blog content in audio versions on Spotify and YouTube. Happy listening! 🎧 

.

.

.

#somatic#traumaandsomatics #emotionalregulation #somatic #confidence #confidencebuilding #meaningfuldialogue #confidentcommunication #stressrelease #traumarelease #stressrelief #somatichealing #sympatheticnervousystem #rest