We have so much to talk about because we learn more about the autonomic nervous system.

We discover more about why we do what we do and how to correct the behaviors that work against us and get them to work for us. 

The podcast is called Guiding You Home because I'm trying to help you become self-aware tome back home to who you were before you were conditioned to believe you had to be something else to be accepted, validated, loved, or contributory. 

We're going to dive in, getting into episode 48. 

In blog 48, we're talking about the wisdom of the body. 

The wisdom of the body is that we tend to let this run behind us like our brain's ControlZilla, which is out in front, large and in charge, controlling, manipulating, and making sure everything turns out just the way we need it to preserve our image, our feelings, our self, and our sense of self. 

When we do that, we're just managing, controlling, and manipulating things that are not ours to control or manipulate. We learned how to do that in the past.

Our nervous system was a blank slate when it was an itty baby. It learned what was safe. I am loved, I am secure, I am nurtured, I am guided, I am supported, and I knew what was not safe. 

I've been abandoned, neglected, and unable to receive the love I need. There seems to be scarcity and lack all around, which puts us in survival mode. 

It leads us to think that we are coming from fear. “Oh no, I can't figure out how to get my mom or dad to love me.”  “Oh no, I don't have a handbook for when they're upset, and they're looking directly at me to find out why they are upset.” Right? 

We're trying to figure out how to stabilize that emotional harmony. 

But if we have lived in a place that is always about troubleshooting the problem ahead of time, preempting the struggle, if you will, then we have spent a lot of time exhausting our energy and focusing on what we don't want. 

Our brains are focused on what we don't want. I don't want Mom and Dad to be upset with me, my boss to be disappointed with my performance, or my spouse to think I'm messy and can't recover. 

Whatever it is we don't want, we're generally focused on that. 

ControlZilla: Our brains are so busy controlling everything and all the outcomes outside of us, usually things outside our control, that we no longer listen to the body. 

She's just back there flapping in the wind, trying to hold on for dear life because you're just going to plow through life without stopping to think about what it's doing for you, against you, or to you.

Now, don't get me wrong here. Life is happening for us. If you will, the universe doesn't want us to get bored. 

Every day, we have all these opportunities to practice stabilizing our emotions through our autonomic nervous system. 

The autonomic nervous system is hardwired to keep you safe, but the autonomic nervous system starts in the brain. That's what's hardwired in your brain.

It has learned from all the little cues it has picked up, especially when it was being programmed.

Your software was being programmed as a baby, a toddler, a little child, a kindergartner, a first grader, and a second grader, like we're just taking in all this information and energy around us, trying to navigate what's safe and what's not safe.

In my particular instance, it was not safe to be me. Although I like to be bright and shiny, I was still going to be looked at as a problem.

I learned to disappear, to be invisible, and not to listen to the yucky gut soup I was feeling all the time. 

I didn't even know I had anxiety until about five years ago. I'm almost 60. 

Five years ago, I was anxious about what I discovered: the nervous system and thoughts about flipping the switch on.

“Oh, this is not a safe situation because it has a hint of flavoring or a sense of something that happened in my childhood.

I relate that to the experience, and when I react, I fight against it or defend myself, over-explain, and overshare. 

I run from it, disappear, and go away quietly, and nobody even knows where I went. 

I fawn, I'll become anything you need me to be, or I freeze. “Oh, I don't know what to do.”

This is why I've been blindsided.

Suddenly, we're not playing by the same rules anymore. 

There are so many of those things that our nervous system does, and it does it to keep us.

It keeps us from walking out in front of a moving car. It keeps us from jumping off a building. It gives us a sense of our mortality, right? 

It's not a bad thing. It's that our body's wisdom is missing the cues that it's full, so I'm going to stop eating now. 

Instead, we're eating as a coping strategy because of all of the exhausting thoughts we've had, all of the energy we burned, trying to navigate our environment so we can stay safe. 

We're, like, all done. I can't think of another thought. I don't want to think about it. I don't know. 

Then it's cookie cake ice cream at 10 p.m. It's a coping strategy, right?

But our bodies are like, oh, here we go. Coping strategy. Okay. We will overload our bloodstream late at night and expect miracles over time. Right?

We have to listen to our body's wisdom. It's not just about eating or exercise. It's also about trusting our inclinations, intuition, and gut instinct. 

This is so important because information is always coming at us and from us. 

Until we stop, and we're like, what is that yucky gut soup that I feel, oh, my brain thinks I'm in trouble? Can you get in trouble as an adult? The answer is no. 

You cannot get in trouble. 

You can get in trouble with the law by speeding or breaking the laws of the land, but you can't get in trouble with other people when you're living your life and doing your best. 

They might be like, oh my gosh, you made such a mess in the house, and your little self that got lost in the past is like, “Oh no, my parent is upset with me.”

When maybe they're just having big emotions, and they're allowed to have them, you get to manage what's happening in here.” Oh, I can't be in trouble.” 

If I can't be in trouble, I can return to the present moment and listen to my intuition. 

“Oh, they need to be heard.” 

They just need to be seen. They need to have big emotions, and it's not about me because I'm not the person with whom they're having the wound of origin. 

That was in them before I met them. 

When you can sort this out, begin to understand the thoughts you think about trigger an emotional tidal wave in your body, all the chemical suits, the hormones, and good and evil, right?

There's no such thing as a deficient hormone, but it's all information. Stress hormones are information and the core of good adrenaline and all the good hormones. 

They all work for us if we can separate our thoughts from how they affect our bodies' ability to communicate. 

This is right; stay in alignment with that. This is not yours.

Don't match their energy. You can start to be right here with them. You're going to figure out some deep stuff, and there's going to be some big healing happening, right? 

Being right here and following your intuition and inclinations, right? 

When you are intuitive, you sense what's going on with you and instantly know that the person's problem is not with you.

I don't have to allow my emotional state in my body, which stores fat like it hangs on for dear life, it has high stress, it's an energetic, exhaustive emotional state of being in low frequency. 

That low frequency, oh my gosh, she's on the warpath, I have to watch out, or I have to disappear, or I've got to fight back, or I've got to freeze because I don't have a plan for this. 

When you're doing that kind of stuff, all you need to do is notice it. Notice what you're thinking about because we think about so many things during the day. 

We don't even know what we're thinking about, but how it plays out in your body is that it shuts off your intuition. It shuts off your natural inclination to know which direction is for you.

It shuts off our natural inclination to have clarity and trust that we can take care of ourselves or know what's best for ourselves. 

We do what's best for somebody else 80% of the time because it makes us feel safe. They'll like us. 

We avoid judgment, abandonment, and rejection. We just change what we are and what we need so that we can stay safe. But Jibadi's always talking to you. Right? 

Your creations lie inside of you. Your genius, your intellect, your infinite, intelligent intellect. It's within your body. 

Your body is always talking to you. Have you ever had like a knuckle not feel good? 

It's like, oh, it's not all the knuckles. It's just like, I don't know, in my thumb. It's like that knuckle. 

The typical response when you're like, why is my knuckle hurt? Oh, it must be arthritis. It's like? 

Do you think that knuckle is older than all the other knuckles? 

Why would you randomly have arthritis in one knuckle? It wasn't an injury; it's just you notice, hey, that's sort of sore. Like, something is going on there. 

That's energy getting stuck in the body. It's you harnessing or harboring negative thoughts, beliefs, and habits of thought in your body. 

Your body is like a sad knuckle. It's funny. 

Different emotions are trapped in other places in your body. There are 24 emotions that can be trapped in your skin. 

We have it manifest in skin conditions. 

I have a rash, I have eczema, I have something going on, I have shingles, I have something presenting outwardly because I've had these thoughts that are going against my best interest. 

They are not working for me; they're working against me because I'm trying to protect myself and keep myself safe. My nervous system knows how to fight, run, freeze, or become anything you need me to be. 

Your nervous system is always at work. 

Now, you don't have just those four options. 

You can go into a vagal state, and vagal is peace and harmony. I'm safe all as well.

Our goal is to be in that state of peace and harmony. I am safe all as well. Their big emotions are not about me. 

What does that do in your body that allows you access to your inner guidance system? 

It will enable you to hear your intuition say; this is good for you; this is not good for you. It allows you to listen to your inclination to set a boundary to remove or set a more extensive boundary.

Safe in a healthy way rather than in a way that is just fighting against what you don't want. 

Again, when you listen to your body, you will experience sensations, hints, and clues about something in it.

I know people who have anxiety and panic attacks, and they're so high functioning because it's so typical for their nervous system to be on fire. They're cracking jokes, working, earning money, and caring for their family. 

They just want to die because they haven't learned to manage their level of understanding that they are safe. 

They're not back in their childhood when the trauma was being introduced to them, when the lack of love, the lack of nurturing, and the struggle to survive were introduced, and anything that has what? 

A sense of flavoring or a hint of something that happened in the past that we didn't know how to navigate as a little child.

If it's happening now, we just get those body feelings all over again. A yucky gut soup, I'm in trouble, heart palpitations. 

We discover that our bodies are communicating with us to see if we will take the time to stop and listen. 

Here's one example. 

The story I brought to life with me was the same story that my mother had. If your mother can't love you, who can, right?

That was the story I brought into my adult life: you have to work hard and earn love, and most likely, it will still not be enough. I brought that into my adulthood. 

At one point, I was thinking about when an event happened, and I was like, oh, I was omitted. It lined up with my story of not being lovable and didn't do enough to earn an invitation. 

Every time I thought that, my heart would flump. Have you had a heart flump before where it goes wild for two minutes or two beats? It's just like, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.

Then you're like, what was that? Mine feels like someone's thumping me, right? It was like a thump. 

It was the thought that brought on a physical reaction in my heart. And a worse thought than being invited, included, or forgotten is the idea of abandonment. 

That's an even worse thought that triggers that little child in the past who was left in a dark room alone without anyone to co-regulate with. 

When that happens, and the fear of abandonment comes into thought that turns into a physical manifestation, I would get a sharp pain in my heart.

It wasn't until one day that I was very conscious of the thought I was thinking, telling a victim's story, which is wounded feminine energy at hard work, telling a victim story about how I was not loved.

I wasn't wanted, needed, appreciated, or loved. 

I had a pain, a sharp pain in my heart. I was like, wait, what? Wow, was that a coincidence that I thought and felt that pain?

Then I was like, let's do it again, let's just test. Then I thought the same thought, only worse. It was like, I'll never belong anywhere because I'm unlovable. Ooh, sharp pain again. 

I was like, oh my gosh, I have control of that. I'm doing that. Game changer. Game changer, folks, because what you learn from something like that is you are in control of how you feel. 

Ta-da! Now, I'm not saying it's easy to catch yourself in the act all the time because, as I said a million times, seeing yourself is the most complex person to see. 

If you can notice the thoughts you're thinking about as a physical reaction in your body, you can also reverse that. 

I lightened up on my thoughts and was like, Whoa, so if I were to say, Oh, well, I don't love slumber parties anyway.

I go to bed so early, and then I'm up early, and I'm like, everybody else is up late, and they're sleeping late, and it just isn't a good space for me. 

I hope they have a good time. 

When you can come up with a thought that's lighter than the first story you told. 

Stopping away, I was like, oh my gosh, no heart thump. No pain. I must be getting closer to telling a true story than a victim story.

The victim stories hurt the worst. A more accurate story doesn't manifest as pain in your body.

It frees you up to hear the inclinations, the intuitive clarity that comes for you. 

If you're, if you're praying, but you're so busy about controlling who said what, and you're revisiting an argument you had last night, and things are all crazy up in your brain, you're not going to hear answers to what you're asking for in your prayers. 

You're just not going to hear them. You're just busy; never mind, I got this little dude myself. But if you can find a way, just tap right here, find a way to remind yourself you're not that little child in the past. 

You're not back there anymore. Tiny, you're not lost anymore. You can just take her and tuck her under your wing right here. 

It's like, hmm, those complex thoughts are all about fear. 

They're just embedded in fear and cause emotional upheaval in the body. 

We won't do that because it's not good for us. You would tell your little child this in real life, right? 

You're telling your inner child we're safe; all is well.

We're not going to get crazy up in the brain. We're going to simmer down, settle in, and be right here in this moment.

When you do that, you'll be able to hear the answers.

I like to say that your answers come from here, and they're like, whoop. They just like come in this way. Right? 

If you ask yourself why I am so good at finding solutions to the day's problems, the reason starts in the diaphragm and comes up to your brain. It's not the other way around. 

Your brain is not like, well, I'm not very good at solving it, or I would have solved it by now. Your brain is going to tell you the negative thing. 

If the negative thing is coming up, it's your brain. Your intuition, however, comes from lower. It comes from your knowingness. 

In that knowingness space, it comes up and is like, because, and then it comes out your mouth. 

Your brain's like, hey, wow. That was cool. That was spot on, like that answer. 

But it's because your body knows. 

The wisdom of your infinite intelligence is in the body. 

Where's the nervous system? It's in the body. It starts in the head, but it goes through your entire body. 

Hormones are being pushed out to every cell saying, we're safe, we're kind of safe, we're not safe, this is super dangerous.

Beware, run, fight. 

All the messages are going through your body, and your body will respond to them.

It can react by getting angry, react by feeling sad, isolate, or phone a friend, and your body will know what to do.

If you have anxiety and if your brain is telling you that anxious story more often than not, your body might shut down. 

It's like, I'm not eating. I can't eat, or you might find yourself eliminating and evacuating completely where you just turn into a faucet; you're just pure liquid. 

Those are all your body's indications that it doesn't feel safe.

If your body doesn't feel safe, we have work to do because that is no way to live your life. 

So again, we have to tell a more accurate story because the only story you're telling is all that is happening in the body is one that's not true. It's less precise. 

It lacks love. It has something to do with your perceptions as a child before your brain was fully developed. 

It's thinking about one thing that may or may not hold the essence of truth. Most likely not because we trusted our caregivers to tell us the truth about who we are. 

If they told us you're lazy, you're sloppy, you're noisy, you're loud, you're too much, we receive some of those messages. 

What are we going to perceive it as? A lack of worth, value, love, and ability to be nurtured, cared for, and guided, right?

If we have embodied a lack, that's survival, right? We're not thriving at that point and bringing it into our current situation as if it were true.

But back then, when those things were going on, you should have had a parent that gathered you up in their arms and said, sweetheart, that's not how we behave, or sweetheart, let me show you where to put your shoes, so you can clean up or sweetheart, let me show you how to recover from an argument or a disagreement with your sibling instead of shaming and, you know, all the finger pointing and blaming. 

We're correcting those behaviors now. We're bringing little you into the present moment and showing them how we handle life now. 

The fact of the matter is you're light and love. 

You're so much fun. You're just bright and shiny. You're intelligent and worthy and infinitely good. 

We're helping to parent that little child. 

When you do that, she integrates into your life, and your body feels better.

When I finally realized I was in a co-dependent relationship with my first husband, it was right about that same time that my intuition said, let it go. 

You can't change him. You can't care more about his problems than he cares about him. You can't fix that. It's not yours. 

That's when I went on a fitness journey. 

I actually lost eight dress sizes in six months because I was practicing this energetic letting go of what I couldn't control, ControlZilla, because he was the perfect match to the unlovable story I brought to our marriage. 

If that didn't hold true because I am lovable, then I went and practiced what lovable looks like. 

I started pouring time and energy into myself first thing in the morning before the kids got up. I went outside, got a little exercise in, and had some me time.

Things changed. All the heaviness that was sitting there in my body, overweight, unhappy, and heavy, just left and served its purpose. 

It served as a shield and protection for me as long as I needed it.

When I didn't need it anymore, my body was like, we're ready to let go of that. So your body's just a machine, right? It'll only do what you tell it to do.

Your stress all the time, and you're overeating, you're coping strategies, and you're doing things that are not good for your body, like storing trapped emotions. 

It will be like, oh, okay, we're just hanging on for your life. It's just been flapping in the wind while you've just been making all these controlling decisions in your life. 

When the control stops and surrender happens, your body can finally give you all the clues, guidance, and answers to the test if you will, and you will be home. 

You will feel more like yourself. You will have confidence and trust; the doubt will dissipate, and the fear will be less. 

We're never going to be free of fear; it's not all or nothing, but the fear that we do have is healthy and keeps us safe for real, like physically safe, or it helps us understand when we need to set boundaries, etc. 

But it's the fighting, flighting, freezing, and fawning that we've done to survive that is no longer needed. 

We're no longer that scared little six-year-old in the past, or the three-year-old who didn't have a mommy, or the 12-year-old who was abandoned, right? 

We don't have those pieces of us left in the past anymore, and we can start to integrate more fully into a healthy, happy, harmonious nervous system, which just improves the rest of our life. 

I hope you gathered some nuggets.

I hope there was some insight for you and that you could do a little self-introspection from the nuggets that you gained because I'm trying to give you the answers to the test, and if you're listening, you will get better.

That's just how it works. 

You're not broken.

You're just improving and expanding every day. 

Note: You can access the full blog content in audio versions on Spotify and YouTube. Happy listening! 🎧 

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