Today, we will talk about you completing me. I'm not talking about relationships with other people. 

I am talking about figuring out what it feels like when you are complete. 

I want to start this out with a story. 

I was in fitness, and if you're in fitness, there are all these rules you have to live by. 

I didn't; I was definitely an outlier in this category. 

But in the diet world, in the fitness world, in the exercise world, you going to eat less and exercise more. It's zero fun.

It's exciting for the first week. Then it's like every Monday is a diet, every Tuesday is a failure, and the rest is just a wash. 

So, even though I don't teach fitness anymore, I still value talking about what we think we want: a better body, matching our insides and outsides, looking and feeling our best normal. 

But we're going to do it thinking outside the box because I just don't; I'm not a herd follower. 

I'm just not going to do what everybody else is doing.

I want you to listen to the things that you hear.

It's not always the things that I say, but it's the things you hear that resonate, and you have an aha moment in a lightbulb setting, saying to yourself, "Wow, I have never thought about it like that before." 

That's what I want out of this whole discussion. 

I want you to go; wow, that changes things for me.

That shifted my mind. That turned on a light bulb. 

I will do it differently because I have the answers. 

You are what I'm talking about. You have the answers. 

I don't have the answers for you, but I can share stories where you can hear yourself.

Here's my story. It's the cookie story in fitness, in dieting, in exercise. 

We think we have to eat fewer calories and avoid bad foods.

We can't have all the sweets and things that spike our blood sugar because that's what stores us fat, and blah, blah, blah. 

Well, I'm gluten intolerant and still working on that, but I hadn't had a cookie for that reason alone. 

I was so busy with work that I wasn't baking or cooking. None of that was happening. 

I was gluten intolerant, so I didn't have cookies, cake, or ice cream—I don't like ice cream. 

That works in my favor. But when there was a day, a weekend and I made gluten-free cookies. 

I was like, it just felt right. I felt like I wanted to bake.

I finally had some time off, and suddenly, I had this craving for cookies.

I found myself arguing back and forth. I eat? 

Okay, I'll allow myself to have one. 

The control was high. I liked it because I didn't have to control myself before, and it wasn't a temptation. 

After all, I didn't want to feel sick, right? 

I would feel sick if I ate a gluten-laden cookie.

This was an opportunity for me to go, my gosh. I haven't had a cookie in eight years. 

I found myself arguing because I ate the one cookie, and my gosh, it was so good. It was like, my gosh, I forgot how awesome chocolate chip cookies are.

Then I ate a second, and I felt this guilt that was like, yikes, this is not good. I can see how you could literally not stop eating these cookies. 

It could be bad, which is hilarious because I also know that you don't gain weight overnight. It's over a progression of time of eating so that you can store fat.

It's not an overnight deal, and it's definitely not a plate of cookies in one sitting. I knew this. 

There I was, arguing with myself.

ControlZilla was all up in the middle of it instead of just letting me enjoy the freaking cookies. I decided after having two, knowing I wanted a third. 

I was like, "Hey, I'm just going to be miserable if I don't let go of this idea."

I packed the plate with ten cookies and went and sat down. I picked up the third cookie and ate it. It was still so good. I picked up the fourth cookie and ate it. 

I was like, my gosh, it's an eye roller. It was so good. I ate the fifth cookie, the sixth cookie, the seventh cookie, and the eighth cookie, and it dawned on me at the eighth cookie.

I think I'm complete. I think I'm done. I think I don't need to eat another cookie. 

I don't want the last two. I had all I wanted. 

I took the plate back to the counter and set it down. 

I didn't wish I could have the two cookies left on the plate. I wanted them to stay on the plate like it was complete. 

There is this idea that we just don't listen to ourselves.

We overeat, we gorge ourselves because the rule we're operating by is that your mother said, clean your plate, right? 

Those of us my age, we like, we got that stuff. It's probably not a thing anymore, but we heard it.

If you're like, well, I'm trying not to be wasteful, and I'm trying to, you know, save the earth, whatever the logic is for wanting to clean your plate.

It negates listening for the signal of completion. 

If we look at babies, babies don't overeat. 

When they're done eating, they refuse the food and just turn their heads. "No, don't try to give me another spoonful. I'm done."

There's no rhyme or reason to it. 

Some days, they're hungry; some days, they aren't. Some days, you wonder if your child's going to starve to death because they don't want to eat. 

Then we're forcing food on them, but they have an innate wisdom. 

Why not let them use it? Let them eat when they're hungry. Let them learn to figure out when they are complete. 

My cookie story is one that we can all relate to. 

We've all been like, "This is such a good meal," "This is such a delicious dessert," or "You know, the eight-layer cake," or whatever. 

We're just like, I have no self-control. I have no willpower. That is not true. 

By the way, you do have willpower. It's just that when you're working against yourself, you're like, shouldn't eat it, shouldn't eat it, shouldn't eat it. 

Where is your focus?

I can't have it, can't have it, can't. Can't spend money, can't spend money, can't spend money, can't have that really good quality dress that's going to last a long time, that's going to be your go-to dress. 

You can't have it; you have to buy a cheap one that you'll only wear once, and you won't love it.

When you are opposing yourself, It makes it harder. 

Then, you do exactly what you didn't want to because you're focused on it. 

Congratulations, you'll get it if you focus on what you don't want. 

But if you focus on what you want, you let go of the resistance, back off on the rules, and just send ControlZilla to nap. 

She doesn't know what you need, but your body does. It has a natural on-and-off switch when it comes to food, especially. 

Ghrelin is the hunger hormone, and your stomach will growl. 

Remember when you were waiting for lunch in grade school, and your stomach started growling right about 11 a.m.?

It naturally knows when it's empty and ready for more. 

If we pay attention to body signals, we eat when our stomach is hungry, when it says, "I'm ready for more," and then we eat to completion. 

We eat until we're satisfied. We eat until it just feels good and then leave it there. 

This is not; you can't have anymore.

I want you to have all that you want. I want you to permit yourself to have all you want, and a thousand times over, you will be shocked at how

When you give yourself permission, you can eat all you want—and we're not saying all of it. 

If you have a big, old, delicious bowl of spaghetti in front of you, we're not saying to eat the whole thing. 

We're saying eat all you want. You'll get to a point where you take a deep breath, like a very deep cleansing breath, and that is the signal your body gives you that you're complete. That was it. 

We don't need more. We don't want more. We're good because you can always have more later. 

We're not saying don't eat it ever again. We're not saying that that's all you get for the day. 

If there is a scarcity element, I can't have what I want or as much as I want.

I am limited in how much I can have today for this meal or this week because I'm on a diet. I can only have 1200 calories because it negates listening to your body that tells you you're complete.

Some days, you'll take three bites of a nutritionally dense meal. Maybe it's chicken breast, which is super dense. 

You can't just keep eating chicken breast forever and ever. Right? You just can't eat eight chicken breasts in a sitting.

You can have one. You can eat one. And then you're like, okay, I'm complete.

I am done eating chicken. I don't have this driving desire to have more chicken right now. 

That's how you know you're complete. That's what it feels like. I'm done. 

If you can listen to your signal—and I'm not just talking about food here—listen to your signal to give yourself permission, like writing the consent. 

I permit myself to go shopping for a dress for the upcoming wedding I'm having.

I permit myself to spend whatever that dress costs because it feels so good. It's a match. 

If you give yourself permission to buy a dress that fits beautifully and feels nice, you will feel comfortable with who you are.

It doesn't mean that that's going to be a thousand-dollar dress. That's not what that means. 

You're just removing the limitations, and you allow yourself to go shopping until you feel complete.

For shoe lovers, is there such a thing? 

In the sense of allowing yourself to experience what it's like to feel complete because you're arguing in your head, I know, I don't need any more shoes, but I love those shoes. I just love them. 

I love those and those and those and those.

There's nothing wrong to love a million different kinds of shoes. I'm not saying put a limit on it because you're a creative genius, right? 

You have this strong sense of creating a wardrobe, a home, a meal, or a health care plan.

Whatever plan you put together for yourself is a dream, right? It's an idea. It's a desire. It's a hope, a wish, or a want, right? 

It's something that's going to get your creative genius on board to experience it. But if you remove the limitations, you'll feel complete. 

That all of a sudden you're not just shopping to have a good feeling. 

It's like my life is full of stress, and I am now going to procrastinate all the things that I need to do because I'm overwhelmed by thinking for a moment—just thinking about doing this, doing that. 

Now there's not enough time. Now there's not enough money. Now, there are not enough resources. Now, there's not enough love. You've overthought everything.

Then you're like, "Online shopping is low-hanging fruit. I deserve it." Let's reward myself for being an overthinker because I just need something that's going to make me feel better, right? 

We're just going for that good feeling, and shopping can do that.

But then we feel guilty, bad, and like we've wasted resources or overspent or whatever. 

We'll get that out of the way to remove all that negative energy around shopping and spending a little time and money on you. 

Allow yourself to feel what it's like to reward yourself and feel complete.

Maybe you've got these pants and this shirt in the closet, and there's just not a good pair of shoes to complete the set. 

You're like, I'm not doing it out of stress. I'm doing it because I permit myself. 

I'm just going to buy the shoes. I'm going to stop overthinking it. I'm going to stop with the guilt. I'm going to like all the limiting beliefs around it. I'm just going to let myself have the shoes.

There's no over-explaining, no over-reasoning. 

You get the shoes because you want them. After all, it will make your outfit magical. 

Then, when you buy the shoes, hold them in your hands, put on the outfit, and rock it, you're like, "I feel complete." 

There is a sense of completion because even though everybody has an opinion about how much is too much, we are judgy about what's in someone else's closet and how many things they have that they don't need. 

None of that matters because all that is, is a projection of you and the rules you impose upon yourself looking outward, right? 

How I feel will project how about my life and limitations. I will tell you that you've got a lot of shoes. 

You shouldn't shop that much. You shouldn't waste money. You shouldn't be overweight. Should, like, woof. 

You tell us how much that is not helping us with our inner guidance. 

There is nothing out there that is your business.

Your business is right here. You are a business. This is yours. 

You have enough going on that surely you will not get bored paying attention to your business. 

When you experiment on this, when you just like, okay, what if I wasn't jealous? 

What if I wasn't over-interested in somebody else's life? What if I like it? What if I just close off the windshield for just half a second. 

Let's just put the sun shade up in the windshield and stop looking outside ourselves for who's driving right and wrong. 

Why don't we just stop all that?

What if we come back here and experiment with the idea that when I eat, I am overeating? Am I trying to fill a void? 

Is there stress in why I eat, or do I just permit myself to eat? 

Eat as much as I want. 

Eat as much as you want, and notice that when you eat as much as you think you are going to eat, you actually don't eat as much as you thought you were going to eat. 

If there's no limit, no focus on what you can't have, what you shouldn't do, or what you aren't going to address, you will find another means to feel good.

If none of that is happening, what are the chances that you'll operate more in alignment with who you are, attune to who you are, and actually meet needs that are going unmet? 

Our stress is high that we are not meeting our needs of being validated by ourselves or God by being understood by ourselves or God. 

We need all this outside validation and input. 

You are valid. 

Your needs are validated. 

Okay, that's right here at this moment. Right now, I want you to tell me I am valid.

My needs, wants, hopes, wishes, and desires are valid—all of them. 

See, we are not actually limited. 

We have limitless resources, ideas, and love. 

Nothing is scarce—nothing. It's only our belief that it's scarce.

It's looking out into the world who's talking about you should be scared because. Because our side's right and their side's wrong. 

We're just listening to that fear of banter and the noise instead of returning home to where love lives. 

Love is expansive.

It's limitless. It is what you're made of. It is why you're here. It is your creation and a means of being the creator.

If you experience the idea that you can have all you want until you feel complete, you won't overeat, overshop, or overspend. 

You're just going to feel the needs, wants, hopes, and desires that you've been denying yourself.

Diets are not sustainable when they are based on a certain number of calories and a certain food group with no fun in between. It's not sustainable. That's not why you're here. 

You're here to have fun, to enjoy your life, to participate in the creative process through your intuition and your inner wisdom, to expand, and to be joy in the world. 

But it's hard to do that when busy bossing ourselves around. 

If you're ready to get unbossy, you're prepared to test out who you are, what you want, and how you want it, and just notice. 

Notice when you're overwhelmed.

Notice when you're putting limiting beliefs on yourself.

Notice when you're putting rules that don't have to be there.

Look, let's just get real. 

Are you going to break the rules like the rules that matter? No, you are not. 

You are a rulekeeper. You're going to keep the ones that matter. 

If there's an eternal consequence there, you won't break those.

So, the rest of the rules are just made up. 

They're just a database of everything we've collected about what to do and not to do to be loved and accepted in this world.

If we just like, shh, just shh, put her down for a nap, give her a snack, do something else with the busy brain, with the bossy one, ControlZilla, and just sit with who you are, your intuition will not actually allow you to overeat. 

You'll be like, it's complete.

Your intuition will lead you to the right pair of shoes, the beautiful dress, the outfit you've always dreamed of. It will find you. 

It has nothing to do with all the other jeans in your drawer or with how full your closet is. 

If you have a dream, follow it, and you won't be over-shopping. 

You're going to go to the thing that's like, let it be what it can be, and you will never feel limited, stifled, stuck, overeating, over-sharing, over you'll never overdo it. 

You will have that sense of completion, and it feels good that your inner guidance system will lead you so much better than the busy brain that wants to tell you what you should and shouldn't do.

But you can and can't do it. 

If you focus on it, it's a disaster. But if you focus on it, you can have all you want. 

You can have all you want because all you want is not all. 

Think about your breath. 

Are you going to breathe all the air you will ever breathe right now? Forever and ever? 

And you're never going to take another breath again? No, no, you're not.

If we can find evidence in your life that you feel complete, we know you can do it in other areas of your life. 

You don't even think about breathing. It's natural. 

You breathe in, you breathe out. 

You don't try to take all the air you're ever going to breathe. No, no, you don't go overboard. 

You're very moderate in your breathing, breathing in, breathing out. 

Sometimes, you need a big breath and then a release.

Other times, you're just in that low-key shallow breathing, not needing a ton of oxygen because you're not expanding it.

Other times, you're a hustle, you're moving, you're shaking, and you have all the oxygen you need. 

You have all the oxygen you want. 

You can have all the oxygen you want all the time, anytime. 

What does that tell you? That that's limited to just breathing? Or is that an eternal principle that you can expand on in every area of your life?

You can have as much as you want. You can have as much exercise as you want. You can have as little as you want. 

It's not wrong. 

If you're listening to yourself, there are some days when your brain says, "I should exercise. I'm getting fat. I can't fit it in my pants." 

Now, that is never the inspiration. Never.

That's just a busy brain working from the data, trying to keep you safe because back in the day, it wasn't safe to look good or fit in the right jeans.

If you wanted to belong to your social group and society in general, we had rules about what that looked like.

That is not what we're doing anymore. 

The new expansive way of living in the world is just to breathe in and let it out. 

Breathe in and let it out according to your needs and wants. 

You can have all of it. All that you want right now. Not all that you're ever going to have forever. 

It's just all you need right now. All you want right now. 

You can have all you want. I used to teach this to my fitness clients. 

You can have all the food you want. 

Suppose you put foods in front of you that make sense to your metabolism so that you burn fat and not muscle; you'll have the proteins and the vegetables. It's not rocket science, and you can have all you want. I dare you to eat more. 

Because when you dare someone to eat chicken and vegetables and eat too much, they will tell you that you can't eat more than I'm feeling satisfied. 

I don't want more. I had all that I wanted. It's like, yes, that principle changes when you go to something fluffy, like a donut, pasta, or bread. Your body doesn't receive the "I'm all done" signal. 

It doesn't feel complete yet because it takes more time to feel full, and your body is looking for nutritionally dense foods. 

It has to pick apart the pasta with six or seven ingredients and the bread with six or seven ingredients to find their nutritional value. Does that make sense? 

I'm giving you this little blurb about what it is to set the expectations. 

I had all I wanted and didn't feel full until it was all gone. 

Well, that will be the case if you're eating fluffy foods. 

If you experiment with this, try eating chicken and vegetables or steak and vegetables, throwing a potato on the side, and experimenting with a plate of food where you know where it came from. 

It didn't come out of a bag or a box. It came like steak is steak, broccoli is broccoli, and potato is a potato. 

They all came from a place, and you can identify them because there's only one ingredient, right? 

Throw some butter on there, salt it up, pepper it, whatever you need, make it taste good, and then try and experiment with this idea that I can have all I want. 

Make two steaks, three potatoes, and the entire broccoli head. 

Put them on your plate and see how much of that you eat before your body receives the signal, I'm complete.

I guarantee you will only finish some of that food. 

But it will definitely get your attention that everything else in your life, like air, shopping, and money, is always in circulation. 

There is no scarcity of money. It's always in circulation. 

It's just whether or not you're letting it in with your thoughts. You think it's scarce. After all, it doesn't like you. 

After all, you're always poor because, like, whatever. 

You can have as much money as you want.

There's a whole other podcast episode to be done on manifestation, but I do have some earlier episodes where I talk about manifestation. 

If you want to grab those experiments with this because it helps you stop overthinking, stop placing limitations on yourself, and start receiving the abundance of life because

You are complete. You want for nothing. 

You have everything you need and want, and it feels good. 

You are complete. 

Note: You can access the full blog content in audio versions on Spotify and YouTube. Happy listening! 🎧 

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