Why Life Has Been Hard For You

It's important for you to keep seeking out the truth. 

When you return home to yourself and are guided by your inner guidance system and your God, you're in a good spot. 

Now, as you sift and sort some of these things that we talk about, such as why life has been hard for you. 

You're going to have to go on an inward journey to check to see what you're doing or not doing that is either helping you or not helping you find your center. 

The only reason life gets hard for us is because we avoid it, we are distracted, we are just busy with the chaos of life, coming and going, all the doing that is necessary for us to live. 

Let's talk specifically about emotional freedom. This is my favorite topic.

I don't know why it's taken me 45 blog posts to get into it, but I love talking about emotional freedom because nothing else matters after that. 

You would think of emotional freedom as spiritual or physical freedom, where you can free yourself from the obstacles that hold you back. 

But emotional freedom, when we are in the chaos of what's not going well, nothing else is really going. Right. 

We're not doing the thing we came here to do. 

Emotional freedom is the reason it has been hard for you to find; it is because of distractions, avoiding, and doing anything and everything but facing feelings head-on. 

Now look, feelings are just; this is who we are. 

We're very emotional beings. We're spiritual beings. 

But when we're mental and physical beings, many things are going on at once. 

When you haven't thought, it's a thought that is coming from either fear or love. 

If it comes from fear, we experience a negative emotion. That's the response; that's the outcome. 

If we are optimistic or loving, the meaning of what we think about is on the good side. 

Good things are coming; I'm excited about it. 

We get that kind of feeling inside. 

Listen close. 

When you have negative emotions, stop everything. 

What's in you is yours. You get to keep it until you are done with it. 

Then you can say thank you next. You are my greatest teacher. Thank you so much for teaching me. 

Now, this is the tricky part because when you are like, this is anger in me. I'm so angry, is what your brain says. 

The meaning of anger is that it's not safe. It's coming from fear, not love. 

The emotion is resentment, revenge, sadness, hurt, or victimized. 

If you can just take anger and stick it out where you can see it, it's no longer in the dark. 

We no longer hide that part of ourselves we wouldn't want others to see. 

We may not want to air in public how we behave behind closed doors. 

If we're all angry, we're yelling at people; let me tell you a story. 

I was a young mom who was super frustrated and had no clue how to handle it. I was just like being my mother, which was not a good thing, and I was in a terrible spot. 

Somebody called me on the phone. This is when the phones were hooked to the wall.

They called me on the phone, and I was like, oh, hang on just a sec, I'm going to have to find that thing you need information about. Put the phone on the counter. 

In the meantime, I had a bowl of full milk interior hit the floor by one child and another child screaming for a drink of water. 

Back then, that just sent my nervous system through the roof. I was like, I'm losing my mind, and this was well into the day. I was already ready for nap time and was not talking about the children.

I was losing my mind, and I lost it. I don't remember what I said. I just remember it's not something I would have wanted anyone to think about me and how I behaved.

When I remembered the receiver was open, I returned and said, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. They had hung up because this was somebody I knew, and this was not just a spam call. 

This was somebody I actually respected and wanted to think good of me. 

I felt so much shame, so much shame about that, that I was yelling at my children for being children. 

They were just doing childish things, but it all went to hell in a handbasket when the phone rang. Which is difficult, right? 

You're either in the bathroom as a mom or on the phone as a mom, and everybody loses their minds. This was not a proud moment. 

I was distraught for a very long time that I had that kind of anger in me, that kind of emotional chaos.

I was like, this is not how I thought I would be a mother. This is not how I would behave as a mother. 

I would enjoy my children, have fun, laugh and play, and be silly together. That was my idea of being a mother. 

At this particular time, I was not in a good place. 

I completely forgot someone else was listening, which is kind of an interesting idea, right? 

That we make life complicated because we are two people. 

Whatever's happening behind closed doors and what we put out there for the public to see, you might say to yourself, doesn't everybody do that? What's wrong with not showing your worst self in public?

It's like, oh, there's nothing wrong with that. If we get closer to being the same person behind closed doors as in public, we will be in that peaceful, harmonic place where we just go with the flow of life. 

We won't say hi to everybody in public behind closed doors. There's a split in us, and it's not harmonious. It's not good. 

Emotional freedom is learning to bring those two things together quickly. 

When I say quickly, I mean shift emotionally, shift mentally, shift the meaning mentally quickly. 

I'm not talking about the time and space it will take to rewire and retrain your brain to do this. 

First of all, it is simple. It could be faster. It's simple how you do this. 

But to obtain emotional freedom, let me tell you what it does for you. 

It also means you become uninterested in being around negative energy and go free in your thoughts. 

Your thoughts are in, and there are boundaries for your thoughts so that you're not breaking them. 

According to us, boundaries are how we keep other people in line. Yeah, boundaries also keep you in line with yourself. 

You see, there was somebody you would typically have participated in negative energy with.

I did that, and my kids disintegrated. Cheerios were on the floor, and we needed a drink of water; everyone was crying. Guess what I did? 

I did exactly the same thing. I was like a three-year-old with my three-year-olds. 

When we do that with a spouse, they start getting huffy and puffy, and then suddenly, you're right there, huffy and puffy. It's like, wow, are we having fun yet? How about now? 

Emotional freedom sets you free from that. You start to have boundaries.

It's like, what? You're having a hard time. I'm not participating in that. 

That doesn't mean that you need them to stop. It doesn't mean that you need to control them. It doesn't mean they have to stop having their feelings. 

They're entitled to them. But it does mean that you're like, but I don't want those kinds of feelings. I'm choosing not to go where you are going. 

It's okay if they go there. 

That's the point of emotional freedom: I need you to change so I can feel better. 

That's codependency. That's not emotional freedom. 

Emotional freedom is noticing that you're going to a negative space, not going with them, and not being mad about it. 

You're just like, I choose something else for myself right now. I think I'm going to have a snack. 

The whole idea behind emotional freedom is that you are working through the process of noticing what you're thinking about, which is in the spirit world. 

Everything travels at the speed of thought. 

We think things a million times more, like our number of thoughts. 

There are a million more; a million might be a considerable exaggeration. 

We have many thoughts we're not even aware of.

However, the one we can identify as being associated with our emotions is the closest and the only one we need to recognize. 

As soon as you're like, oh, there's anger. There's betrayal, there's bitterness, there's resentment, there's fear, there's worry, there's helplessness, there's hopelessness. 

When you can say, that's what's in me. That one, I felt. I felt that. 

Here's the thing: we always look outside ourselves, saying, you made me feel that way. 

Especially in a marriage, a relationship, or an intimate relationship where you're like, oh, I need you to listen to me and hold space for my feelings. 

It's like that would be very hard to do. 

There's some codependency in there because we're saying that I need you to do the work I am unwilling to do for myself. Can you hear that? 

Some so many people are like, well, we went to couples therapy, and the therapist said, my husband needs to listen to me more. 

If he cannot listen, understand, and not be emotionally moved into a negative space while listening to you, he can complain about something. How is he supposed to do that? 

But you can go to a place within you where you are emotionally stable, and you can discuss a problem, but it doesn't turn into I need you to hold space for my sadness, for my victimhood, for my childhood wounds. 

Our spouses are not our therapists.

In this idea that for it to set yourself emotionally free, you have to take this thing, you would never want anyone to see about you. 

This thing that comes up where you're maybe spiteful or maybe you're jealous. 

We have to take it and own it and go, oh, pulling that jealousy out of me, there it is. Oh my gosh, look at that, I'm jealous. 

Jealousy was in me. It's not who I am. It just was in me. 

There it is, and I'm holding it out in the light so that it is no longer darkness in me. 

I can look at it, turn it around, and go, hmm, do I need jealousy? Is there a reason why I would need jealousy in order to be my higher self?

I guarantee you a thousand percent no because you are nothing but light and love. 

You disintegrate whenever you participate in jealousy, bitterness, and resentment. 

You're in that lower vibrational state of who you actually are. 

You're so far from love and light. That means you can still move back there quickly. 

That doesn't mean you can't return to your higher self from that low vibrational state that fast. 

At the speed of thought, I guarantee you can. You can be like, oh my gosh, I'm jealous. Oh my gosh, I wouldn't. 

The higher self in me wants that person to do well, to have the best, to get into that thing that they need to experience more in order for them to grow. 

If somebody's heading in a bad direction, you can also look at that as the best thing that's ever happened to them because it's like, what if they're going towards that toxic relationship? 

They'll learn a lot about what they don't want, which will help them choose something better for themselves. 

Do you have to get all up? Upset, worried, and fearful about what they're about to do with their free agency? 

Can you find that fear and worry, put them out in the light, and just go, gosh, fear and worry, are you helping me help this person I love? 

Are you helping me find a solution in light and love that higher part of me? Am I operating from the highest parts of me in order to help this person I love? 

You don't need to worry and fear if the answer is no. Just be like, no thank you, and no thank you. Get rid of them. 

Sometimes, we are very thrifty. 

We're like, well, I'll get rid of most of the fear, but I will hang on to a little and stick it in my back pocket just in case I need it later. I might need to worry later. 

It's funny how we hang on to that negative emotion—the darkness—that if there's darkness in us, it's taking up space where light could be. 

Negative energy is the holding place for all dis-ease in the body. 

If you hold on to enough anger in your body, it will find a home and hang out there until you feel some discomfort and dis-ease. 

If you can, instead of avoiding anger or whatever your emotion is, whatever the negative emotion is, you cannot store it in your body for a second; just bring it out of darkness and into the light. 

Just look at it. It's not going to hurt you. It's not killer anger.

It's just a little bit of anger. Just be like, huh, do I need that anger? 

Maybe I don't need that anger. Maybe I could live a pretty good life without that anger. 

If I get rid of the anger, then what have I got? What are my choices after I get rid of anger? An interesting idea. What would you do if you didn't have emotional chaos inside you? 

The other half is that your nervous system just thinks emotional chaos is expected. 

You're just in fight-or-flight mode, ready for freeze-and-fawn. You're like, who's going to harm me next? Where do I need to protect myself? 

The answer is you don't need protection. You're safe; all is well. 

But if you're unrooted, we're safe, and wellness is in your root chakra. 

If you're unrooted, your nervous system is rattled to some degree, probably in the fight-or-flight range. 

If that's all we've ever experienced, as usual, we should watch out for that person who gaslights us, is snarky, or gossips and backbites. 

If that's normal in your world, you're always in a fight-or-flight situation. That's a callous place to be. 

You have emotional chaos, not emotional freedom. 

You'll need to rest and digest your nervous system to set yourself free. 

You will also need to learn to re-regulate your nervous system, not participate in problems, stay neutral when the energy in the room takes a nosedive, and stay present with yourself. 

I need to set boundaries about what I'm not going to participate in, not allow myself to think controversial thoughts, and not participate in the doubting energy of what people think is wrong in the world. 

When you choose not to have that in your life, guess what? 

You'll have to get used to a new normal. 

I read something the other day that said your nervous system would choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven. I was like, oh yeah, yes, that is so true. 

If what has always been familiar to you is emotional chaos, you'll choose that every time, and you'll not even know you're doing it. 

You just end up with friends that are like that. You end up in a workplace environment that's like that. You end up in a relationship that's like that. You end up going out to lunch with friends like that. 

But when you put your foot down, you're like, you know what, I'm all done. 

I need peace, harmony, nature, friendliness, and ease in my life.

You will want to get rid of emotional chaos and set yourself free. 

Emotional freedom means that you're at peace and be like, what will I do without problems in the world? 

Don't worry; it's not as simple as just saying, all I want is peace. 

It's not; we are complicated individuals and human beings, but what does happen is your brain's like, oh, but there is a problem, and I'm going to find it, and I'm going to blow it up and make it monumental. 

But your heart, soul, and guidance system are not about that. 

You will be at odds with yourself. 

Your brain's like gossiping about other people or participating in negative energy, and your soul is like, oh, okay, well, we'll just be over here when you're ready to have some peace and harmony. 

It's not fast, but it's simple. You have to be unavailable for the familiar chaos. 

Then, it's going to take time and practice. 

Every time a situation comes up, you're like, oh, there's that chaos again. 

There, I am participating in it again. Oh my gosh, there I am, blowing up the world, ut how I feel about something going on out there. 

Then you have to rein it in. It's like, but I didn't sign up for that. 

I decided I wanted something different in my life, right? Right? Check with yourself, correct? Self, right?

Then you do the other thing. 

The difference is letting go of whatever is causing you negative chaos. Name it. 

Put it in the light, roll it around, check it out, disassociate who you are with that negative emotion, and then talk your way through it. 

Do I need this negative emotion? What's it trying to teach me? 

Your negative emotions are the shadow in you. They are your most outstanding teachers. 

If you have betrayal, you've identified betrayal. You put betrayal up here in the light. 

What is betrayal trying to teach you? 

It's trying to teach you to disconnect from all those things you thought were in your future, that you thought were true because someone else said so, and that you thought would last forever. 

Get rid of those ideas because they're not true. 

If it were true, it would feel good. But betrayal, it'll be a trail. 

It's trying to teach us to get a second opinion. 

Where's that second opinion going to come from? Ah, that's your conversation with God. 

That's you and God figuring this out; you're the team. That's where the truth is. 

You can receive personal revelation for yourself. You can receive personal inspiration. 

Your intuition will tell you what's right; I don't mean your brain. 

That's like they're wrong, but I'm right. I'm talking about the yes in your body when something is better for you. 

That's where you get your clarity when you go to the inner guidance system. 

Guiding you home is about you finding out what truth is for you.

If betrayal is cropping up in your life, you're like, okay, what is betrayal trying to teach me? 

It's trying to teach you to let go of all these other belief systems that others taught you or that you believed would last forever, like anything is never allowed to shift. 

I know betrayal can be very painful, very, very painful. 

If you just back up on how painful it is and just say, okay, what would you have me teach me? What would you have me learn from this if I felt betrayed on such a high, high level? 

Give it time because there is grief, loss, and other negative emotions playing into that scenario. 

There's anger, sadness, bewilderment, blindsidedness, and a lot of stuff going on when betrayal is there. It's not as simple as saying, okay, betrayal, you know, I see you, now go away. No, no. 

You have to process it, but you have to do this over the course of time. 

There's no time limit on how long it takes to process something as heavy as betrayal, grief or loss, or any of those other negative emotions. 

Still, you must get it out into the light, out of darkness, out of your body, and out where you can look at it, turn it around, journal about it, meditate on it, and ask what you would have me learn. 

You are my greatest teacher 100% of the time. It's not even 90%. 

If you allow negative emotion to teach you what you're here to learn, you will transform from the old to the new you, from the low to the high you. 

That is your opportunity to eliminate darkness in your body and come into the light. 

Let the light fill those empty places where darkness used to live. But life has been hard for us because we don't do that kind of work. 

We're like, I don't know what to do with betrayal. I'm just going to be mad for the rest of my life. 

Some people never get out of it, but you're here. You're listening. 

Something that has been said resonated with you through your intuition, inner guidance system, and ability to receive personal inspiration and revelation.

When it hits, it's the thing that you are ready to hear. It's the thing you need to act on. It's the thing you need to journal about a little more, meditate on, and contemplate. It's the thing for you. 

Whatever you were hearing in this short period that we've spent together, I want you to go back and, like, what? 

When was the last time I was angry? When was the last time I was upset? When was the last time someone frustrated me? When was the last time I was irritated or annoyed? When was the last time I felt deep grief? When was the last time I felt abandoned or rejected? 

Those are all dark, negative emotions that need your attention.

They're little children kicking and screaming, and they need you to give them a drink of water. They need you to refill their cereal bowl. 

But they need you to do it without completely coming apart. 

You need to disconnect from those things, don't you? They don't. 

You are light and love, period. 

We can't undo it. We cannot participate in it, but we can't undo it because when you're ready to be the light and love you were meant to be, you'll get right back there.

It's not that far away. It's pretty easy to obtain. Okay? 

I hope you can hear some things about how to bring more ease into your life and set yourself emotionally free. 

It will be the first and last thing you ever do that will become your favorite part of your journey and your transformation from the person who used to worry and have emotional chaos all the time to the person who is at peace and ease and in the harmonic flow of life.

Note: You can access the full blog content in audio versions on Spotify and YouTube. Happy listening! 🎧 

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