It's a big month for a lot of people — January. Getting through the new year.

I wanted to talk about the things that you're desiring most today. 

February is a better month than January for getting things started and pursuing the life you want to live. 

One of the things that I have experienced as a coach is that when people find, like, there's got to be a big amount of dissatisfaction, they're really struggling. 

That's when they're like, hey, something has to change, something has to give, and they start searching their souls. 

There's nothing more important than people who search their souls. 

You have to know what you want. You have to know who you are and what you want. 

If you don't know, life is trying to teach you, but you may not be paying attention. 

I say that a little bit tongue in cheek because stuff's going on. 

You know that some things in your life could be better, awful, or complex, right? 

But sometimes, we go through life with our fists like this: I want what I want, but I'm not open to receiving it. 

Life is trying to pry your fingers open so that you can receive the gift you're asking for.

Please open your hands, because I'm trying to give it to you. 

If you're like this, the struggle in your life is usually super high. 

You have a lot of resistance because you're focused on the problem. 

This thing is driving me crazy. 

Maybe it's a relationship. It could be the lack of money. 

You may want to make a difference in the world, but it's not happening for you right now. 

Whatever it is, that's not actually the thing that life is trying to hand you. 

There is more of a subconscious desire, something in your heart that's like, there's something else for me. 

I wanted to talk about what is calling you forward. 

It's not the lack of clients, the nine-to-five, the busyness of your family, the difficult relationship, trying to navigate a family, midlife, or anything else. 

It's not the navigation. The navigation is just a symptom. 

How hard you have to navigate is a symptom of what you really, really want. What your heart is asking for. 

I like to call your brain ControlZilla because this is where fear happens, and your brain is designed to keep you safe. 

Your brain is always looking out, wondering what will hurt me?

What is going to shame me? What's going to embarrass me? What's going to make me feel less? It's looking for the problem all the time. 

Your heart and soul are not looking for a problem. 

In fact, they don't have a problem. It's like we know what's best, and we're just not listening. 

We're going through life just trying to manage and control the stress, and the frustration is rising, and everything except for rest and relaxation is happening.

That your soul, your spirit, your gut, your guidance system—whatever you want to call it—is the thing that makes your body move. 

When that's out of your body, it just hangs there and doesn't do anything because it's dead. 

That's what we're talking about: the energy in your body and your spirit knows the way. It knows what it wants. 

Let me give you some examples. 

Maybe you're trying to build a business, and your head says you'll need more money, clients, staff, and everything else in an economy that's probably taking a nosedive so that you can go home and stay with your family and spend more time with them. 

Your heart's like, spend more time with your family. That's what you want.

Your head is like, okay, so I will work harder and for more hours, build my business up, get more clients, and force this to happen. 

Then, all of a sudden, everything implodes. 

You're out of money, can't make payroll, your staff goes away, and you're lying flat on your back. 

What just happened is the best thing that's ever happened to you. You've been like, I'm going to hang on. 

I'm tired and frustrated, but I'm going to market more. I'm going to go. 

You've just got power through life. Like the universe is, please open your hand and let me give you the gift you want. 

You want to be home with your kids. 

The business is gone. 

What's the first thing that person is going to do? 

They will go home and be with their family because there is no business left. 

Sometimes, the worst things that have ever happened to us are the best things that could ever happen to us because our real hopes and desires make them come true. 

We just forget to look at it like that. We need to remember that it wasn't a business failure. 

It was an opportunity to grab the gift you've been asking for—maybe more rest. 

Your heart is like, please stop, please take more rest, please take care of yourself, please show some love, please show some respect. 

Your brain's like; I have to go harder, I have to achieve, I have to get out there, I'll get up at three, I'll get up sooner than everybody else, I'll get it all done, I'll build a better mousetrap, I'll do the things. 

You're like, because when you start doing that, it feels really good at first. 

It's like, I've got a purpose, I've got a drive. You're just so excited. 

It asked me how I knew about this one. 

You're just like; I can do this. I was born for it, and you're on fire, right? 

Then you start doing it, and then you start caring more about other people's problems than they do, and pretty soon you're like in a place where you suddenly have worked yourself out of having a life when I thought this was going to give me a life. 

You're just sick and tired of being sick and tired. 

You're just like, I cannot be this tired anymore. I just can't.

Your business closes. Guess what you get? 

You get to rest, which is what you asked for. 

I wanted to be rested, work smarter, not harder, enjoy my life, go with the flow, and have peace. 

Guess what? 

Life will ask you or offer you what you've been asking for. 

Let me give you some other examples. 

Maybe you grew up in an environment where your parents taught you what's right. 

When you believe us, you'll know. 

Maybe their version of what's right wasn't necessarily the path you were supposed to take. They're trying to do the best they can. 

Next thing, the family dynamic suddenly turns against you, and you stand there going, what just happened and how, like, where's my love? Where's my support? Where are all the people who say our way is the right way? 

As long as you're loyal to what we are telling you to do, you'll be okay. 

Suddenly, that family is gone, and you're standing there going, I don't know anything without them.

It's not true, but you think because you were conditioned to believe you didn't have anything without them. 

Your whole world gets dismantled. 

All of a sudden, everything you ever knew is gone, and you have to start over, and it feels like death. 

It feels like massive amounts of depression and anxiety. 

Nothing makes sense in my world anymore. 

When that happens, you must develop your belief because your spirit likes it. 

You need to develop a list of what you govern yourself by. 

What is best for you in life? You must validate yourself, trust who you are, and trust God's plan. 

Your whole life, you've been like, oh no, it's whatever my family says. That's what I'm clinging to. 

You didn't spend the time to become an independent thinker. 

It can rock your world, but the greatest gift you've been asking for is yours. 

I get to go on a self-journey to discover what I believe in how to talk to my Heavenly Father and know that he is guiding me. 

These are such important lessons, and that person in you has been asking for it, probably for a really, really long time, a really long childhood, but there were a lot of stories around you saying no, you shouldn't do that.

You can't do that. You'll be sorry if you do that.

These stories get dismantled through life experiences, so maybe you want to feel powerful, but you come from a codependent background where you were unempowered.

Now, suddenly, you get a little confidence, and people start to filter out your life, and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm all alone. Where did those people go? 

They couldn't hang out because you started to pursue the thing you've been dying for: personal power.

Holding boundaries means being able to keep healthy and unhealthy people, mindsets, and influences from where they belong. 

You have the space to get healthy. But it feels lonely. 

It feels like a lonely journey. It feels really hard. 

But if you put your mind on what you continue to want, which is what I need. 

I'm going to take back my personal power, set healthy boundaries, and take care of myself for a change. 

I will get out of this circle, this rat race of trying to please everybody else. 

As you go forward in your life, new people will show up. 

Just wait, just be patient. 

They're coming. They are coming, and they're going to be part of your life and they're going to be encouraging and supportive. 

You're going to be like, wow, this is new, this is awesome. This was never part of my life before. 

You might need a do-over. 

Guess what?  Suddenly, you'll be compelled to walk away from your life to dismantle it, to say thank you to many people, many experiences, an old job, and all the things, and it'll feel like you're all alone. 

What's so interesting about each of these experiences is that you feel alone, and I like that mantra that says it's lonely at the top because this kind of work is not for everybody. 

If you're doing this kind of work, you're a leader, an initiator, and one of those people living their life. It has to happen. 

If it doesn't, you'll die. That's kind of what it feels like. 

You're just going to do it. It's the only thing you know how to do. 

You're being compelled to do it. You're drawn towards it. You're just; you can't avoid it. 

It's just time to do something about it. 

When the universe tells you, or it dismantles your life, like having a perfect friend. 

Let me just throw this out there. 

I have a podcast with this good friend, and it's called Finding Me. 

At one point in her life, she was just a badass. 

She was just going at life, bulldozing her way through life. She started to have symptoms of, please stop that.

When her body was like, please don't do that to me anymore. 

She has frozen shoulders. She wouldn't like to do certain things. 

Her Achilles were locked up, and she couldn't do more of the hard-core things she was trying to do. 

Before long, she was just stressing herself out at work.

At the time, I was like, you've got to rest, and she's like, don't tell me to rest. I got this, and she's just going for it.

I was like, okay, don't worry, this is going to end, and it's like you're unable to keep doing this if this is not sustainable.

Next thing, flat on her back just couldn't do it anymore. 

Her story is completely transparent because it's on our podcast. 

She's like, all right, my life has imploded. I'm on my back, under the covers. I think I'm dying. 

I don't know what's wrong. I can't. I've lost myself and don't know what to do about it. 

I was like, this is the best thing that's ever happened to you. 

She's like, don't talk to me like that. I was like, no, I'm not making- telling you like this is a thing you've been asking for your whole life. 

It's time to get out from underneath the covers and take care of yourself. 

Let's go heal. Let's go sort this out. Sift and sort. 

She's like, okay, why don't we do it live coaching?

I was like you are brave. Good for you. 

We live coach and do this together on our Finding Me podcast. 

The thing that comes from it is that she was asking for balance in her life. 

Her heart was like, you have to find some balance. 

You're so all in   all the time because you think that's what brings you value. 

We can't hold on to that with you. 

She loves it now. She's finding balance. She's like, okay, all right, all right. I was harder on myself than I needed to be. 

I was making life hard. I was doing hard things because I really believed in it. 

Now I'm like, I don't do hard things anymore. 

I want to find some ease and some flow in my life. 

We talk about it often on our podcast, and it's different from what you think it is. 

It's the thing that is calling you forward and that you're resisting. 

It's not happening for you quickly. It's just not coming to you. 

That's when you're like, what is that? My struggling and striving. It's the striving and surviving paradox. 

We strive to be valued globally, but survival is not trivial. 

Here's just trying to survive another day. 

You go to bed, dog tired, wake up unrested, and just have to hit the pavement again. 

It's just not working for you. 

You have to take that back and ask yourself, what am I after? Because it's who you become on the journey.

It is not what you do. It's who you become. 

When you become somebody who's just living it, it's fun, creative, interesting, enthusiastic, and you're just moving in this direction that feels like breathing again—like I'm alive again. 

When you're doing that, hmm, hmm. It's so good. It's so good because you're just, it's the thing that you wanted most. 

It's so interesting because many times when we're going through life, we have failures, whether it's a relationship or a business or a career or raising the children or just your body going to the pot or whatever it is. 

We carry a lot of shame about it. 

We're light; I hate standing next to those people to have my picture taken. Or, oh man, I could have done that if I just, but no, I'm not going to. All of that? Please, here's the thing I want to say. 

Do not let shame stop you from dismantling this hard work and letting go of the struggle. 

Your soul and spirit are meant to do something else on this earth plane. 

You are here to make a difference in the world, and the highest needs of the spirit are growth and contribution. 

If you're not growing, you're dying. If you're not contributing, it feels pointless. 

If you're in your comfort zone and it's just old news, you just feel stuck; you're like, there's something else other than this. 

You're not wrong—you never are. You're not wrong about the things you know you want. 

It is not in doing those things but in becoming who you are. 

We feel powerless, powerless to change our situation.

 If that's the case, first of all, it's not a true story. 

You always have power over what you choose to do. You have free agency, and we happen to live in a free country. 

You do have power, but we just think that our power lies in what other people think of us and their judgment of us. 

Sometimes, we don't get help, sometimes, we don't find the support we need, and sometimes we don't change, but I'm asking you to consider setting shame aside.

It could be ego, vanity, or perhaps embarrassment. 

Whatever the most accessible negative emotion is for you.

Be grief, could be loss, could be anger, could be hate, could be rage, that is the degree to which your soul is like, mm-mm. That's not who you are. 

You're not here for that stuff. 

You're here for the good stuff. You're here for the ease and peace, the fun and exploration, the adventures and creativity of moving forward. 

Please consider moving forward. 

This big thing that you fear will happen; maybe it will, and it may be the best thing that's ever happened to you.

When your greatest fears come true, they dismantle you quickly, and you receive what you have been asking for this whole time from inside. 

You just didn't know that was what you needed most. 

Watch for it because it's in there and dying to come out. 

Sometimes, when your life is entirely burned, you only want what you want most. 

It's like opening your tight little fingers and receiving the gift you've been asking for. 

I also need to tell you that I am opening up a mentorship. It's called Amplify. 

If you amplify your gifts and identify who you are and what you want, everything else becomes clearer. 

You start to become the person that makes you go; dang, I love being me. 

I looked in the mirror years ago; I was like, I don't think so. 

That's not something I'll ever say to myself. 

When you can look in the mirror and go, you are my favorite person. 

I cannot be more grateful for being who I am. 

When you say that about yourself, life is so good, it's so good, and you're not here to struggle. 

You're just not; you're not here to do hard things, struggle, suffer, or barely breathe. 

To be depressed, to be anxious, you're not here to do those things. 

You're to dismantle those things. 

Sometimes, we've attached ourselves to the things in our lives that we deem the safest. 

When that implodes, the best thing that's ever happened to you. 

In this mentorship, we need a safe and supportive place to talk about these things because we need support. 

If I had this when I was riding the struggle bus, I would have jumped on so fast because you start to pay attention. 

You start to go because we learn from each other, number one.

When you hear somebody else struggling, you're like, oh my gosh, it feels so good not to be alone in my struggle. 

When you also hear somebody else struggle, you're like, oh. I see myself in what they're learning. 

Now, I can learn. There's passive learning; there's present learning. 

You're learning about yourself, getting coaching and the support you need, and learning about them. 

It is not just about them; what's happening in their lives always applies to your life. 

You're like, wow. Okay, now I'm getting the double support that I need. 

I can see myself more clearly. 

The hardest person for you to see is you. Guaranteed. 

When you can see yourself clearly, you can make those changes quickly. 

When you start to make those changes—and I'm not saying easily, I'm not saying fast—you know, it took how long to get here? 

It will take you a year to get back out of it, do something different, exit the roundabout, and go on the path you were meant to travel. 

It takes time to grasp some of these abstract ideas that you're like, I don't know what that means, but to have someone explain them to you and give you all the time you need to process and practice them—game changer, game changer, that you need the hand holding. 

I have had so many people tell me now I am NOT a dog meat therapist.

I've had so many people tell me they could only afford to go once a week.

When you go once a week and then the other six days, you're like, I don't know. 

Is it working? How about now? There's a lot of ambiguity. 

I  just like guessing, but  I don't know. Am I applying the things that we talked about?

Some things hit home, and they're easy to move. 

But in a support group where you can always ask a question, get some clarity, and get the support you need, it's an every-day, seven-day-a-week kind of group. 

Significant things happen, and the needle moves quickly. 

Compared to how long it took you to become unhappy, a year passes very quickly. A year is coming one way or another. 

You can show up a completely different person 365 days later; you are 365% better. 

I invite you. 

If you want to know more, just DM me.

I am a one-on-one person. I am a starfish person who's like, you can't save all the starfish. 

They're like, well, I saved that one. Do you know that story? 

Anyway, I love the one-on-one conversations talking about you. 

I guarantee that if you are like, there's something she said that I need to know more about, we have something really strong in common. 

Whatever I have overcome and gone through, you'll be able to relate to vice versa. 

Whatever you're going through, it can relate to it. I've done it. 

If I hadn't done it, I wouldn't ask you to do it. 

Anyway, DM me if you want more information about Amplify Mentorship, where you learn and grow.

Nothing is so serious as if we don't pick at the scabs. 

We use our sense of humor and the logic that comes from here. 

You have the answers to the test; you just need someone to help you bring those forward so you can hear them more clearly. 

I don't want you to do what I've done, but I will coach you on 

what you're here to do. 

Hit me up if you want to know more.

Note: You can access the full blog content in audio versions on Spotify and YouTube. Happy listening! 🎧

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