Love Misplaced - How to feel SO loved!

There's no time like the present to dive into a very deep subject. 

We will talk about looking for love in all the wrong places. 

This is misplaced love. This is alignment with the external world. 

I tell you, we are all living this physical life with so many external voices. 

They're just telling us how we should respond, how we should react, what's appropriate, and what's not appropriate. 

We are getting into a relationship situation.

We have relationships with a lot of different people out there. 

We have our families, our intimate relationships, our work relationships, and our career-oriented relationships.

We have our community relationships, neighbor relationships, specific relationships, groups of interest, and love of art, singing, music, or whatever. 

We have those relationships, and we have our close friends who know the most intimate details about us and who trust us. 

The hardest thing is that we don't have a relationship with ourselves; we are all over the place. 

We're all out there expending our energy, putting our love in all these other places that may or may not pay off for us.

If we're looking for that payoff, we might be kind of disappointed that we're not getting as much as we're giving. 

We're putting love out there, and we're attaching our self-worth, our value, to the amount of love that comes back.

It's a very big concept to feel good about ourselves only if the love we're giving is coming back. 

When we say love, it's our efforts, time, wisdom, energy, giving, giving all day, and it's no wonder we feel exhausted if we're not actually doing this right.

If we try to have relationships with everybody else but with ourselves, we're exhausted. 

It's just too much. It's like we've got it backward. 

We have to have a relationship with ourselves and our higher power. It is a conduit of light. 

Did you ever like watching Star Trek? Beam Me Up, Scott Scotty. 

That's Scotty sitting in the control seat, and anybody who left the starship or wanted to return to the starship had to stand in the beam of light. 

If you weren't in the beam, you did not get beamed back up. You didn't go on an adventure, and you didn't return from when to report.

It's very interesting because it is you putting yourself in the beam. You've got to be in the beam of light to get beamed back up to yourself, to your home, to your place of safety. 

But we're out there going. Okay, you stand in the light for me, you stand in the beam, and then we'll go back to the starship together. 

It doesn't work that way. 

If you're asking everybody else to stand in the beam of love, you're like, I need you.

I told you where the beam was, and you need to stand in it. I expect to go with you. 

It doesn't work like that. 

Either you're standing in the beam too, and you're both going together, or you're not standing in the beam, you know, or you're standing in the beam, and they don't go with you because they don't belong in your circle. 

They're not the same type of love that you're made from. Does that make sense? 

I'm really big on analogies because sometimes, the words themselves don't teach. 

If you can grab a concept, you'll teach yourself what you need to know. 

You'll fill in the gaps that are missing for you. 

There was this gal who just loved her cat, and she was attached to it because kitties give us love back, right?

Our animals love unconditionally, except for the snippy cats. 

My sister has a cat that she once thumped on the head trying to teach it what not to do, and it has never given her love since it completely ignores her. 

It's funny how we treat others and ourselves.

If we've ever thumped ourselves on the head, there's a good chance we denied ourselves. 

There you go, another analogy: you're welcome.

There's this gal that put all of her attachment into a cat, and then that cat left her. 

She was so sad. She was so unhappy. 

She was like, oh my gosh, I love this cat. I was so attached to it.

Now that it's gone, I feel rejected, abandoned, and left behind. I feel yucky, gut soup because I don't have any place to put my love. Woo! 

Can you feel how heavy that is?

It's sad. It's sad because you don't have somewhere else to put your love.

Maybe your love was misplaced, to begin with, that you put your love into people, things, and animals, and plants. 

We are love. We cannot undo that. 

If you are loved and you have been loved, you were created in love. I don't mean your parents. I mean your higher power. 

You were created in love. You were a spirit before you got the body. 

The spirit was put in the body. 

Here you are, a loving spirit and a body working to figure out how to build a relationship with you. 

You are the one you've been waiting for. 

You are the love that you just haven't realized yet. 

You haven't expanded on that. You're just spending a lot of time talking about where love has been lost.

When we say love in this sense, we're talking about energy, the time that you offer somebody. 

If you give somebody time, you must say they are worth your time. 

If you give someone your attention, you must say they are worthy of it because you want to do it. 

If love is being extracted from you, that's called toxicity; get out now. 

If somebody's manipulating you to give them what they need because they lack it, move on. Was that clear? Okay, good. 

But even in the middle of a relationship that feels like a struggle, it's like, oh man, I'm always giving, and they're always taking. That is you doing that, that's not them.

If they take, they're busy living their lives and may have it straight. 

That's not toxicity; that's you misplacing your love and your energy. 

It's so important to understand that you are in need of expansion. 

You need to love; you need to improve your connection with love. 

Where is love found?

Love is found in the source from which you were created. That's where love is. 

You are created in love. You are loved. You are loving, and you are lovable. 

If those are never in question, if those are absolutes because you would say that about somebody else you care about, right? You would tell them that story, wouldn't you? 

If it's true for them, it's true for you. 

This is where you start to expand. It's like, okay, so why am I working so freaking hard at getting some sense of loving significance? 

I want love because it makes me feel good. It makes me feel significant. 

But how come everybody else has to change for you to feel better? That's a really big question for our egos.

Because ego, E-G-O, as Wayne Dyer said, is edging God out. 

If we're leaving God out of the equation, then it's just going to be a game of hit and miss, hoping that if we spend time giving our loving energy to any one person or any one thing, there's going to be a high ROI on it, that we're going to get something back in return. 

It's literally like handing a gift to somebody and saying, here is a box of chocolates for you, and I only have one. 

So, if I give it to you, I trust that you'll understand how hard that is for me and how empty I am now because I gave it to you, and that you need to hold space for my emptiness and give me some of that back. 

You need to give me, well I would like the whole box of chocolates back because then I would have the box of chocolates to give to somebody else and somewhere else. 

But if you'll just give me some of the chocolate back, I can be okay with that.

 I can be satisfied that at least I won't be totally depleted of chocolate, and I'll have some to give to other people, even if I have to hand it out just a tiny piece at a time. 

I need you to understand that I am going to be without chocolate. Because chocolate is limited, I can't get chocolate anywhere else. I don't know where to find chocolate. 

This was the only box I had, and I'm gonna give it to you, and I need you to give me, out of the goodness of your heart, because I give to get; I need to get that chocolate back; otherwise, I won't have any chocolate to share. 

I need you to decide how valuable I am by the amount of chocolate you give back to me.

Now I'll know how you see me. I will know what my value is with you because you gave me almost all the chocolate back—the whole box, only half the box, and a piece. 

No, you gave me a sniff. You gave me a sniff of chocolate. Isn't that all I'm worth to you? Isn't that the game we play on Valentine's Day?

Our loved one is supposed to give us something. 

We value our ability to show the internet. The person we chose for ourselves loved and valued us. 

Now, I can show you the 29 bouquets of roses that fill my entire house, all the chocolate, and the trip to Fiji, and this is how valuable I am. 

This is how much love I have received from somebody validating my need to be loved. Ouch. Ouchy ouchy. Isn't that interesting? 

If we really believe that love is about abundance and that fear is actually a scarcity mindset that we're trying not to lose, we're trying only to give a little just in case it's not reciprocated. 

We'll appreciate everything except when we're unappreciated. We'll only give if there's something to be gained from it. 

If we're treating love like it's scarce, then we're really not living in love at all. We're living in fear. 

Fear that it won't be given back to us, that we won't be enough to be given it. But that is not where our source of love comes from. 

Why would we trust people who are riding the struggle bus, trying to figure out humanness, trying to figure out how to be valid and significant themselves, trying to figure out why they keep giving love, and it's very rarely returned. 

Why would we trust in their ability to tell us all that we are, to love us so completely that we finally feel good about ourselves? 

That's just assuming that we're willing to receive it. 

How much love do we actually reject? It's like, oh, that was nice of them, but, you know, they were just words, or they just say that to everybody. 

How much love do we actually receive when we're like, please, I need to be loved. I need to be loved. 

We're out there going, oh, there it goes. Love never to be seen again.

 I give, I give, I give, and nobody ever gives it back because I'm not a very good receiver. 

They're going to suck me dry. 

It's we do a lot of this is it's my husband calls it brain damage. 

There's a lot of brain damage going on, and he's not wrong. 

We can be a lot of work, but it's the work that we're spending our energy on is fruitless. 

We're just not getting anywhere with it. 

Why don't we do something different? Why don't we spend our energy on the actual connection, the true connection of love? 

Because if love is abundant, then we've got to go to the abundant source, don't we? 

It doesn't make sense to go digging in the dirt for water when the well is full. 

Wouldn't it be easier to dip your bucket into the well with water flowing? 

Then, you know, and it's always flowing to it because it's deep enough that the water, the source of water, is endless, and it keeps coming up into the well. That's what a well is. 

If we look at our well, it's like, oh, it's just dust in there. I gave all I took of the water, and there's no more. I can't replenish my bucket. 

Well, we like that's a rock and a hard spot like we're not getting anywhere. 

We're just like, oh, I'm just going to dig a foot into the ground and and hope for a sniff of water somewhere in there. 

There are molecules in here for me, like we really do walk around feeling empty if we're not going to the true source. Going to the true source is endless. 

There's an endless supply of love. Love is not scarce. It's not a commodity that stops when we give it out. 

Then we just hope and pray and hold our breath, hoping it comes back to some degree. That is a false sense of security. 

We don't need to attribute our value and lovability to external sources; doing so will only get us nowhere. 

But if we go to the source, when we go to God, when we go to your higher power, we basically have an endless supply. 

You've got to trust that an endless supply is filling you up and that there is no end. You can just be loved and go around in love. 

Nothing is more attractive than a person who understands how loved they are. Right?

Sometimes, if we're really, really empty, we're envious that their cup is so, so full, that their bucket never, like it's the never-ending supply of water. 

We're a little envious, we practice jealousy, we say things like they don't even understand what I've been through, they don't know my story, you don't know me. 

We get very defensive about why our bucket is empty. 

But if we were to look a little closer, they're not worried about your opinion of them because they're not trying to extract love from you. 

They're more concerned about focusing on where their source of love comes from. They have a relationship with God. They're standing in the conduit of light. 

When they want to go on an adventure, they get beamed down. When they want to come back home, they get beamed up. They're always in the beam. 

They know where to go, and they do it themselves. 

They're not trying to drag other people into the beam with them. They're not being bossy, trying to control other people when, where, and how to stand on the beam. 

They just come back home. They just get in the beam. 

They're building their lives in stability and security, in a relationship with their higher power and with themselves. 

They understand that who they are and how they live are in alignment with feeling good because they don't need other people to change, love them more, or give them to feel better. 

They don't need other people to change so that they can feel good about their true worth, value, lovability, and identity. 

Their energy seems endless. They seem uplifted and positive, and they have an infinite source of this energy.

 You're like, man, what did you have for breakfast? I want some of that, too. 

That's what they had for breakfast. They had a potent breakfast full of love and light because they went to the source. 

That just begs the question, where's your source? Where are you trying to get love from? 

Because if you have this bright idea and you're going to send somebody this loving message, you're just going to spend time with them. 

You just spend all your energy looking at them, seeing them, understanding them, and you realize at the end of those interactions that you were disappointed, that can only come from one place. 

When you went in, your bucket was empty. You were hoping they would offer you a cup of their water. Your intentions were not pure. 

When you are full of love, when you are light itself, you are walking in the conduit. You are where you need to be to be beamed up. 

To raise your energetic vibration, feel positive, be forward-looking, and focus on the only source that can fill your bucket. 

When you're there, there is no disappointment. 

The reciprocity happens between you and God. God is done, or God is source. 

However you want to, I call it God; you call it the universe, whatever. 

That is a higher vibrating energy that has done more than you will ever do in this life. It's a source you can trust. 

Never trust sources that have never done what you're trying to do. 

That means, basically, some humans are one Sunday ahead of your Monday. And that's okay. Those are our mentors. We learn from them. 

But it's not the source of love and light. It's not. They can't see you. 

You're following them. They're interesting. They make sense to you. They're teaching you new things.

There's lots and lots of teachers on this Earth plane. Lots of them. But they are not the source of your value and your true love. 

To understand that takes work, especially if, as a child, you were just like, when is it going to be my turn to love? 

I have loved, and I've loved everybody, and I've tried to take their pain away.

 I've tried to offer them assistance, and I've tried to make things better. 

I've tried to be helpful, and I've tried to serve and give.

I just don't feel good because, as children, we are born to receive all the love. 

We don't know how to reject it yet. 

If that wasn't given to us and we were given the responsibility to love everybody else except for ourselves, whoo! Yeah, this is a very abstract concept as an adult. 

It's like, wow, going to the source, who are we? The love, how am I going to get there? Yeah, I understand. 

It is my life's work to understand myself, my source, who I am, and my lovability. But that is all of us to do. That is in all of us to do. 

One of the most foundational principles to happiness—probably the foundational principle for joy, peace, and harmony—is to get clear on where you fill your bucket. 

The source that is in endless supply and nothing but abundant is where you need to focus and build that connection and relationship like it was your job. 

Every day, every waking moment, where is your connection? Where is your focus? Because in every waking moment, where are we? 

We're all over this earth plane. We're in our emails, our phones, social media, business meetings, bank accounts, and art.

We're everywhere else. 

Our focus is very externally driven because we have eyes. 

We've got to turn our eyes to the one source that we know will never wander so far away that we can't find the source again. 

That we won't be too far away, an arm's length at the most. 

But we can always, every minute of the day, it's like, I'm right here. I'm OK. 

Everything is on track. 

I am focused. I am with you. I am here that you never leave you. 

Never leave your worth in the hands of other people who are riding the struggle bus because they just don't get it yet. 

They haven't done the work. They're not doing the things that you're trying to do. 

To be loved, to give the gift that you're here to give, you've got to go to the source. 

You've got to internalize your lovability and that there is no loss. 

When you give love, there's no loss because you know where to go to get more. 

You can give away boxes of chocolates to everybody you see, and it's not a loss. 

You don't need those boxes back. It's a true gift. 

It's a gift without an expectation that they'll give it back or give you some back, and your value is not hanging in their decision about what to do with the gift you just gave. 

You can usually feel someone's energetic intention. 

If they give you something, they want something in return. I gave you this for your birthday. Guess what? Mine's coming up. 

Give without expectation of receiving. 

It's the greatest work you'll ever do, and it feels so good because it's just like you. 

It's so you to give without worrying about your endless supply. 

An endless supply does not require worry. 

Worry, doubt, and concern are not anywhere to be found. 

Your endless supply is abundant, and it never runs out. 

You are completely and the only one who is in charge of going to the source. 

If you do, you feel good. If you don't, you'll be disappointed. 

That's how you know. 

It's time to get up and get a living. Let's go. 

Note: You can access the full blog content in audio versions on Spotify and YouTube. Happy listening! 🎧 

.

.

.

#nervoussystemregulation #nervoussysemhealing #traumainformed #emotion #overwhelmed #exhausted #restless #stressrelease #traumarelease #stressrelief #somatichealing #anxietytips #depression #depressionsolutions#traumahealingjourney