Blog Post #41
What Healing Trauma Wounds Requires
Welcome to today’s episode! I’m excited to dive into a topic that is rarely discussed in depth: healing trauma wounds. This is not your typical light conversation—this is about profound healing.
Healing trauma is a profound journey that requires courage and commitment to face those parts of ourselves that are fragmented, the parts that have been carrying emotional scars for so long. When you experience trauma, what remains in your body is often an emotional residue—a feeling of being stuck, heavy, or trapped.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma is not just an event; it's what remains in your body after that event. It’s the feelings that get left behind, the anger, grief, fear, neglect, and the lack of safety you experienced in those moments.
Trauma shows up in different ways, often manifesting as a persistent wound that doesn’t heal. If not processed properly, it can get stuck, and that’s when you’re dealing with the past. And while we often hear advice to move on and not dwell in the past, the past holds the keys to our healing.
You see, when you try to “get over it” and push forward without truly addressing it, you’re not healing; you’re just bypassing the process. Healing takes time, and there’s no shortcut to honestly dealing with your trauma.
The Healing Process: Chaos and Emotion
When you start healing trauma, it can feel chaotic. It’s not always pretty. You may experience weeping, pounding your fists, or screaming out loud into the universe. The emotions you’ve been hiding for years come rushing to the surface, and it’s messy. But that’s okay.
Think of it like trying to clean something greasy—imagine trying to wash bacon grease off your hands. It’s sticky and hard to remove. You can’t just wipe it away with a rag. You need a cleansing process—a release.
This is exactly how healing trauma works. When you start releasing it, the gunk comes out in various forms. It’s not pretty. It may not even feel comfortable. But you need to let it out. You might cry, scream, or pound on a pillow. It’s a necessary part of the process to cleanse those wounds.
Healing Isn’t About Being Pretty or Perfect
It’s about feeling everything. When trauma is stuck inside, you can feel as though you're drowning in it. It’s like being submerged in thick, sticky bacon grease—you feel suffocated and alone, unable to fully express the pain or even get the help you need.
Some of us have the privilege of a support system, but many of us feel like we’re dealing with this process alone. That’s why it’s crucial to create safe spaces where you can let your emotions flow without judgment.
The Inner Child: Releasing the Wounds
One of the keys to trauma healing is acknowledging your inner child. When you were younger, maybe you couldn’t fully process the unfairness, neglect, or abandonment you felt. It was too much to handle at the time, and that wound has stayed with you.
Your inner child needs to express the pain they’ve been holding for so long. This expression is necessary for healing. It could mean letting yourself cry hard, even if you feel vulnerable. If you’re feeling sad, angry, or scared, don’t suppress those emotions—let them out.
You’ve probably repressed these emotions for years, thinking you had to be strong and not show vulnerability. But the truth is, it’s okay to feel. It’s OK to let the tears roll and scream if you need to. You're not weak for having these emotions; you’re in the process of healing.
Embracing the Healing Process
So, what does it look like to truly heal these wounds? It means permitting yourself to express those emotions in a safe environment. You might cry, yell, or feel like you’re losing control. But that’s how healing happens.
Find a space where you can allow these emotions to surface. Whether it’s your car, a quiet corner at home, or a secluded beach, create a space for this healing. When you feel those emotions coming, don’t suppress them. Let them flow.
You may experience feelings of guilt or shame for expressing anger or frustration. But those feelings are just signs of repressed emotions. They’re a signal to heal. The more you can let go of those emotions, the more you will free yourself from the past.
The Role of Self-Compassion
Healing trauma isn’t about being perfect or pretty. It’s about acknowledging the parts of yourself that need love and acceptance.
Self-compassion is crucial during this time. After expressing your emotions, take a moment to soothe yourself. Wrap yourself in a blanket. Comfort yourself.
Sometimes your nervous system may feel activated, and you might experience temperature changes, chills, or discomfort. That’s okay. Just give yourself time to regulate. Let your nervous system return to a state of peace.
The Process of Healing
Healing trauma is not a quick fix. It’s a process that requires time, patience, and ongoing effort. It may take a few days, weeks, or even months for a wound to fully heal. And sometimes, you might feel low or “stuck” for a while. That’s normal.
The key is to keep moving through it. Don't rush the process. Let it unfold naturally. Eventually, you’ll start to notice that things that used to trigger you no longer have the same impact. You’ll feel lighter. The trauma will no longer control you.
A Powerful Example of Healing
I want to share a story with you about witnessing healing. My daughter’s 3-year-old son had a meltdown over something as simple as a plastic chair. He was tired of sharing with his little sister. He screamed, cried, and let out all the frustration he had been feeling.
It was a powerful moment because I saw how free he was to express himself. His mother gave him space to feel all of his emotions, and when he was done, he sought her for comfort. That’s how healing works—expression first, then comfort.
In my childhood, I didn’t get that same freedom to express my emotions. It was not okay to be angry, sad, or disappointed. But now, I realize that it’s vital to let it all out and give yourself the compassion you need.
How to Heal
- Express your emotions: Scream, cry, pound pillows, or release anger. Don’t hold back.
- Create a safe space: Do this in a place where you feel private and secure.
- Comfort yourself: After releasing the emotions, soothe your body and mind. Wrap yourself in a blanket, breathe deeply, and let the energy settle.
- Allow time: Understand that healing is a process that takes time. There will be ups and downs, but every time you allow the emotion to pass, you heal a little more.
- Self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself through the process. Healing trauma is not a quick fix; it’s a journey.
Final Thoughts
Healing trauma wounds is not about brushing the past under the rug—it’s about facing it head-on, feeling the emotions, and letting them go. You don’t need to carry that weight anymore.
I encourage you to do the work—express yourself, comfort yourself, and allow the healing to unfold. This is not a one-time process; it’s a continuous journey of healing and growth.
You are worthy of love, peace, and freedom from the past. Let yourself heal, and soon you’ll realize that the struggles don’t define you—your healing does.
Take care of yourself, and remember, I’m here to support you. If you need assistance, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. I’m always here to guide you home.
Note: You can access the full blog content in audio versions on Spotify and YouTube. Happy listening! 🎧
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